backyard crowing
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childhood goals
i think i'm beginning to understand why women love romantic movies and gesstures. i always liked them somewhat, but now it seems every time i see one i'm much more amused than i ever was before. it's embarrassing, but i think i could be okay with it.
when i spend time with him, i come back home exhausted. i don't feel particularly natural, but i still like him. i don't want to force something that isn't there, or make a relationship where there shouldn't be one. then again, i suppose every relationship that's not your be-all-end-all relationship is one that shouldn't exist. but...i'm glad that i've had the relationships i've had. even though they didn't work out, i'm glad they happened. i learned, and hopefully they did, too.
i remember some movie from long ago where a character said something along the lines of,
"love is the grownup's fantasy, children dream of presents and such...but adults want love."
and it makes sense to me, because when i was a child, i vaguely wanted to have a husband someday, but the more immediate goal was a toy, a day free of school, some attention, or friends over. boys were icky.
i'm happy that now i'm wishing jeffrey was with me before i go to sleep, and not marcus.
3:30 am - Friday, Oct. 20, 2006
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