backyard crowing
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bring ammo
i would really like to go see science of sleep tommorow. i would really like to get to know marcus better. i think i like him again... i don't want him to think i'm rebounding, but perhaps i am. uh oh. agh. i do like him a lot, what is wrong with me? should i go see him at his work? do i even have time? i don't know what i want with him, or if i have any business wanting anything with him. wait, i do know. i want to kiss him and cuddle with him, talk and just be. with. him. and this morning at about 3 am, i was. weird, right? yeah. well...i got on AIM and he said he was in the area with a friend. he dropped his friend off at a dorm, and then we took a walk for about an hour. we talked. i had fun. i like him. i missed him. this is only the third time i've seen him. i felt more like myself around him last night than i ever have before. is it strange to be so on and off again with a person? i believe in so many different types of love stories. i mean, the plot of "when harry met sally" is a fairly outrageous way to meet your match, but it's still one of the most romantic movies i've ever seen. some think it's silly, and yes, the ending is predictable, but come on...it's a beautiful, lovely film. it gives me hope and encouragement that one day i will find a good guy, however oddly it may be. that is the kind of film that makes me disregard silence or awkwardness during a conversation with a man i like. for some, uncomfortable pauses are well, uncomfortable. but i try not to fret, especially when i like the guy. i believe in love triumphing over all, over time, over distance. i am such a girl. but i'm okay with that. i wish he were here tonight. it occurs to me that i have wished this a great many nights. does he like me? at all? am i nuts? how could i turn a guy down twice and then decide that hey, i enjoy his company a great deal? i highly doubt he's interested. but wow, am i. why did i let a good thing go? he's so much nicer in person, such a caring guy. i think he said he works 3pm to midnight on tuesdays and thursdays, which apparently sucks for his work schedule. maybe i'll go visit him. i wonder how he kisses. it seems like most guys would kiss in a different manner. i wonder if i'll be able to sneak off and make out with anyone during the cruise. i don't know...if my family caught me, i would be forever embarrassed. i'm sure my future husband would be informed on the matter. "you'd better watch out during your honeymoon," they might explain, "she likes to shop around while at sea!" UGH. don't tempt fate, janeane, don't do it. here's the chat we had before we went on the walk: marcus: Herro me: hey there marcus: What's up me: hm, not much marcus: Eh? me: eh. me: okay, a lot. marcus: Something that needs to be talked about with? me: not really, but thanks me: i think i've talked enough marcus: Tay me: oh taaay me: ha me: how are you? marcus: Je suis bien me: tu VAS bien :-) marcus: I don't see you for weeks and you appear suddenly marcus: Why is that? me: eh marcus: Boyfriend and school I know me: i'm not such a fan of instant messaging, really marcus: But still me: yeah, that too (one of them now) marcus: Ahuh me: just sometimes i feel like chatting, sometimes i don't me: sometimes i feel like a nut, sometimes i don't marcus: I understand marcus: Dammit marcus: You beat me! me: dammit? me: to what? marcus: *sulks* me: ah! me: ha me: la la la la la marcus: Whatya doin? me: chatting with you me: :o me: surprise surprise me: what are you doing marcus: Driving with Verdie and Jason me: is verdie short for veronica, the car? marcus: No marcus: Verdie is Jasons girlfriend me: gotcha marcus: I'm on campus now me: where are you all going me: ZOMG we lost tonight marcus: I'm at moorehill marcus: Being a guinea pig for verdie me: the ricin place me: guinea pig? marcus: Yes marcus: I'm participating in some study for ms. Verdie me: what do you have to do? marcus: I don't know me: just stand outside of moore hill? me: i have a feeling you are busy doing guinea-pig things marcus: No I'm in her dorm room me: hey i think i found her on facebook, haha! me: is she a women and gender studies major? marcus: Yep marcus: Double marcus: And in english me: what is your brother's last name? me: miller? marcus: Yes marcus: That's my last name marcus: Jason is my friend, not brother me: oh gotcha me: good me: i was becoming afraid there for a second me: sorry marcus: Why? Jason is with us me: no, i was just mistaken, and thought that you were with your brother, not your friend me: oh nevermind marcus: Ah me: you get it now? marcus: Not really me: the whole "in a relationship with..." box on facebook--i was looking for a last name of miller, not kimbrell me: and becoming concerned me: NEVERMIND me: i feel like a stalker now marcus: lol me: i don't know any of these people, i am sorry marcus: Woo marcus: *poke poke* me: haha me: poke poke? ouch. marcus: Yesh marcus: *lick* me: sssss! marcus: Your hissing at me? me: i am me: only jokingly though me: hence the "!" marcus: *lick* me: now that i'm single again you're licking me? ahahaha me: okay then me: *lick* marcus: I was licking you when you weren't single me: you were? oh yeah, i guess that's right marcus: Laff me: chortle marcus: Giggle me: i can't picture you giggling, but okay ^^ marcus: I can show you me: huh? marcus: I'm like 100ft from you marcus: You should come down and see me me: will you be there a while? marcus: A little while me: okay maybe just a sec me: i need to end this other conversation me: um me: okay would it be weird if i said hi? what am i even going to say? marcus: Oh I was saying I was going to come over me: well i live on the nth floor of [my dorm] me: do you have time or would you be annoying jason and verdie me: oi me: my head aches me: owww. me: what's up? marcus: Finished me: okay me: what's the plan? or is there one? marcus: There isn't but that's nothign new me: okay, that's fine me: at least i think you're talking about the same thing that i am ? me: hm. marcus: Eh? marcus: Sorry me: it's okay, no worries marcus: Leaving moore hill now me: okay marcus: Where do I go? marcus: Where do you want to meet rather? me: oh, i thought you said there wasn't a plan me: to meet me: ah, so you weren't talking about the same thing that i was marcus: Well there isnt me: miscommunication marcus: But we're making one aren't we? me: seems like it me: ha marcus: So, where to? me: i could meet you in the lobby [your dorm] or outside of [another dorm] me: do you just want to say hi or are you guys actually planning on going somewhere? marcus: Wanna go for a walk? me: sure marcus: To the tower and around the park? me: what park? marcus: Or such me: okay marcus: The lawn I should say me: the lawn me: what lawn? me: oh well marcus: In front of the tower me: ah, gotcha me: cool, so do you want to meet in front of the tower? marcus: I'm headed toward your dorm me: okay, so the lobby then? marcus: Rendevous in the lobby, bring ammo me: haha, okie dokie me: okay, i�m on my way
- sunday, Nov. 12, 2006
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lovesounds - futuresex
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