backyard crowing



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dream and poetry

1/14/2005 12:23 AM
Listening to: Led Zeppelin II

Can you believe my mother has a copy of Pink Floydís The Dark Side of the Moon and she hasnít listened to it? She hasnít even unwrapped the thing and itís been in this house for months! Crazy.

Iíve decided maybe Iím not as fat as I thoughtÖ

Mom and I watched Before Sunrise tonight. We saw Before Sunset a few days ago, tooóSunrise was the first movie, made about ten years ago, and Sunset is currently a new release. What else have I seen lately?

1. Napoleon Dynamite
2. Love Actually
3. Closer (with Amanda Jerry in the theatre)
4. yup, I think thatís it!

I have a haircut on Saturday. Iím going to request that Cindy cut my hair like Alison Lohmanís in White Oleander when she cuts it herself. The style is choppy, the hair is cut messily with a pocket knife in the film, and the hairs are at all different lengths. When I told mom I wanted my hair like hers, she groaned and laughed. I loved her reaction!

Mom made an interesting quiche dish today. It had a wheat top.

I canít wait to go back to school. I donít think Iíve ever felt that way before, but itís time. Dad finds it surprising that I didnít contact Krista and Lisa for this whole break. I donít know, it just never happened. And now they, along with Leslie, Christy, and Erin are back at their respective schools. People:

Leslie-A and M
Krista and Lisa-A and M
Christy-Huntsville
Erin-I thought Huntsville, but now Amanda tells me sheís at a community college somewhere around hereóI donít know. I saw Erin working at Godiva while Christmas shopping and didnít say ďhiĒ because she was busy and I didnít want to yell. I was planning to call her later so in case she saw me, she wouldnít think I was being rude by not talking to her. I hate yelling in shops. Canít you see me? ďHEY, ERIN! I DIDNíT KNOW YOU WORKED HERE! COOL! BYE!Ē
Amanda-U of H

Now listening to: Five for Fighting
Today mom came home from work, and now I have a wireless card!

Iíve been thinking about careers latelyÖwriting of some sort is becoming increasingly attractive to me, but Iím just not sure I could do it. I mean, I mess around in my journal, but do I have talent? Something tells me no, but honestly Iíd still like to try. Writing is just something youíve got to have a talent foróitís a creative outlet, I donít think you can easily work so hard that you become a great author just by trying. You know what I mean? What Iím trying to say is that there are many things one can work toward, and that one will eventually master. For instance, a person who does not have a talent for learning a foreign language will, after a time, become fluent. Itís a matter of living in a foreign country for an amount of time. If I worked hard enough trying to master math, I could do it. But writing? Writing comes from your heart, it takes talent. I always wanted to write when I was in elementary school. I loved books; they were my absolute escape from the world. When I was made fun of at school, books consoled and distracted me. I remember one day as a kid being amazed by some novel, and thinking to myself, ďI want to make other people feel the way I do now through words on paper.Ē I was exhilarated. What changed in me? Why did I stop reading for leisure? I suppose my life got easier. In junior high kids stopped (for the most part) teasing me. Perhaps my need to ďget away from it allĒ decreased enough that books were no longer needed. Another theory that many claim for themselves is that once they entered the sixth grade, they were forced to read books. Then, of course, books in general seemed unappealing. Grandma has read some of my stuff, and insists Iím a great author, but then again, sheís Grandma, biased and not exactly a literary genius. Geez, that was rude! Oh, well. Iím being honnete.

Press Pause

Everything is frozen in my memory
Iíve never forgotten a moment
Is there still hope?
Should I hope?

If I could pause time
I would have then
I would have made us mobile
While the world froze
The earth would have turned for us
But halted for them
We could have been anywhere that day
So long as I pressed pause while we were together

A few more hours together alone and maybe
You would have discovered me
To be
Not just another human to converse with

With the world at rest
You might have enjoyed my company
Even more
When will you realize it?

Öa memory of a dream I had about two years agoÖ
We were in a red van, and you were at the wheel. You had your driverís license, and you drove well. I trusted you to get us there safely. We were the only vehicle on the road, cruising along a highway with no scenery at night. We spoke of business; our conversation was serious and not jovial. Our clothes were similar to the chatóyou wore a pressed suit, as did I. After a short while of traveling, we came upon an unexpected ocean. The van was suddenly submerged in water, and it began to sink. You didnít know how to swim, so I gave you a quick lesson on exhaling under water. I unlocked the doors and we forced them open, fighting for the surface. I reached it, panting, and looked desperately for you. Realizing you were nowhere to be found, I dove under and pulled you up. Initially you were lifeless, and then choking on water, and then exhausted. I thanked the Lord for his goodnessóyou were alive. We embraced and then looked down at our wet limbs. We were no longer clothed in business attire; I was adorned in pink silk, you in a shirt and pants. You drew me close again and we kissed for an eternity. Eventually, of course, we stopped to survey the ocean around us, wondering what to do next. At a distance, we saw a pool surrounded in water. A few children were playing in it, so we joined them. I then awoke, wanting more of you, you who I have never had.

12:23 a.m. - 2005-01-14
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