backyard crowing


a lesson in love

Today I went on my first date. I know it was a date because he tried to pay for me, but I didn't let him. I feel a little different about romantic love now. I understand that it will come to me, and I am at peace with it until then. If my love is not Chris, then it will be someone else.
I am extremely mellow right now; I am relaxed. I am listening to Colorblind by the Counting Crows.
Perhaps the truth comes to me only when I am this way.
I learned tonight that love is not so very hard to find as we think, and as we claim. It lives in all of us everywhere, we just have our own unique ways of expressing it. If only we will reach out of our shell and take risks, we will find what we wish for. We must get outside our comfort zone. Had I not brought up seeing the movie today after class, we would never have seen each other tonight.
And I do not think we can be impatient about finding love. Patience is a commodity that we must earn, and besides that, love is never impatient. It makes sense when you think about it. The Bible says that love is patient. When we wait for love impatiently, we are waiting (I think) for God to send us someone. We should of course love God, and if love means being patient, then we should be patient with God, and trust that He has a magnificent plan for us all.

"I am ready, I am fine."
I realize now that though we may think we are ready for love, sometimes God simply knows that we are not.

I hope I can talk to him more later.
The movie took up most of our attentions, so we did not get to really chat. I would so like to speak to that boy right now. Even just to hear his voice would be nice. Oh, to have his arms around me.

3:01 a.m. - 2005-04-23


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