backyard crowing



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just call me reddielocks

listening to: "strong enough", by sheryl crow
well, adam called and left a message two days ago, i got it a few hours ago. i think i'll call him back, but i know i'm not required to. i think i will, but tommorow. i was hoping he'd have some other girl by now, i mean it has been three months for goodness sake! i don't know what i'll say to him. "sorry", or something like that. although i can't say i'm sure i should feel "sorry" about anything. three months is a huge amount of time in this case--i've gone away to a college that kicks butt and is kicking mine, i've gained ten pounds because of the stress of it all, and i feel lonelier than ever...but that's changing. this Thanksgiving has given me a bit of a recharge, which i am absolutely glad that it has. tonight mom colored my hair red! and boy is it red. these hairs have never seen such ruddiness, and i love it. the eyebrows need not match. i can't decide if it's edgy or goody-two-shoes. lipstick is now pretty much a requirement.

i wonder what my cousins would think, i ought to send them a picture. they have the reddest hair you've ever seen, like three beautiful orange sunsets. now i'm not too far off. finally!

i've loved red hair since at least third grade, when i had my first crush on a little boy named michael. this kid was hot, as hot as you can be as a third grader i suppose. he had red hair, freckles, and an adorable grin, and of course that pale skin you expect on a redhead. we were fortunately paired for a biography project, where we interviewed each other on our interests and whatnot. i remember the thrill of hearing he was my partner, and i had the impression he liked me too before the whole thing went public oddly enough. anyhow we asked each other questions and discovered we both liked dogs (!) only he had five and i had a mere one. he said his favorite color was maroon, so mine changed suddenly from purple to maroon, a decision that normally would have taken me forever to make. he drove me wild with desire at night, so much so that i couldn't sleep! one night my parents had guests over and i claimed i couldn't get any shuteye because i liked "M.G.", and "so MUCH!" dad then explained who this M.G. was and i was mortified...and happy to have the news out to a non-relative at the same time. i'm pretty sure the guests were my parents' old tax doers, who moved to washington state. i may be mistaken though. i remember that couple had the most excited dog imaginable, named merlin. i don't recall the type of dog it was, or even the sex of the thing, just that it was wild.

anyways, back to this michael kid. i told my good friend lauren (yes, the lesbian drummer chick i've mentioned before) about my secret feelings for him, and one day at lunch she told our entire table. michael, embarassed to be the apple of a complete dork's eye, was more than mortified and became my chief tormenter, bully-wise. he was almost as bad as john and james, a pair of twins who made my life a living hell at that age, but not quite. the main thing about him i suppose is that i liked him, and to be chastised by your apple is the worst. i wasn't worthy, i suppose. heh. i didn't talk to lauren for at least a month after the lunchtable incident. i think a major problem i had during elementary school was that i didn't think on my feet, i hadn't nearly enough quickie comebacks to fend off the bullies, confidence neither. i bought a book called Quickie Comebacks in hopes that it might help. no such luck.

"Close, but no cigar." - Kathryn Norris, a girl who made me guess the secret password of her secret club for entrance to said club, when i couldn't guess what the password was -

elementary school was a horrible time. i'm so glad that was ages ago.

so i'm not jacqueline, according to this quiz:

Your French Name is:
Zo Dumas
What's Your French Name?

second semester of my sophomore year we studied machiavelli, and took a similar quiz to this one:

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian
You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...
But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.
You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.
You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!
How Machiavellian Are You?

so this is my feeling about adam, mean as it sounds:

You Are An Invisible Ex
You're so over your ex, you hardly even remember you have an ex
You prefer leave all of the baggage behind you - far, far behind
As they say, indifference is the opposite of love!
What Type of Ex Are You?

1:28 a.m. - 2005-11-27
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