backyard crowing



i have officially decided to stop wanting what i will never have, what i cannot ever have. that's why i have decided to not think about jimmy, who was detrimental to my...i don't know. health? no. yes. my mental health, that is. so i won't go to your website anymore, and i won't leave comments by your journal entries or pictures. i won't e-mail you, and i won't start chatting with you unless you chat with me first. you should be easy enough to get out of my head, you live a whole state away. you never liked me as more than a cousin anyway. i have idealized you to an extreme extent, put you up on a pedestal that no one could ever reach, and for that i am sorry. you have no idea of most of what i write, but you may have an inkling. either way, we (and there never was a 'we') are through. goodbye jimmy. i am letting go. this is it. see you next reunion, if we both happen to go.

i don't know if i'll ever get married. my standards are way too high in some regards, and i love my freedom.

"We love our lovin'
But not like we love our freedom."
-Joni Mitchell

adieu. adieu.

on a lighter note, today is my period birthday. yes, that's exactly what it sounds like. on december 4, 2000 i had my period for the first time. is it odd that i should remember this?

8:19 p.m. - 2005-12-04


lovesounds - futuresex


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