backyard crowing
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to the mystery boy on the lawn: i swear you make me laugh.
the other day i was walking past the six pack and i saw a guy i was sure i had seen before sometime, i guessed he was probably a kid at my high school. a few days later i saw him again, in the same place, and (of course) didn't say 'hi' again, but genuinely thought about it. tonight magan and v and i went to dreyfus antiques (they're lending us furniture for the play, yay!) and some (as v puts it) 'very gay' shop on 4th street. after the little adventure v wanted to know if we wanted to go see a short film festival happening in the texas union, and magan said she was planning on seeing something called "Gigglepants Improv", so the three of us dropped by chipotle and then on to the performance. i saw the same kid that i had seen on the lawn in the six pack performing, and *yeesh* he was cute as ever. found him (and gigglepants, for that matter), on facebook, and also here on xanga. i know i'm a stalker, get used to it. ;) anywho, here is one of his entries:
A triviality that can't be imagined.
An embrace never felt
An eternity of waiting
Does your heart melt?
Hearts moving toward a meeting. I'll see you there.
isn't it wonderful? a poem about longing and the author is male! and he hath posted it on his website! imagine that.
and then, on his facebook 'about me' section:
Notions of humanity are so misleading, or at least they are in your case. Every stereotype of the human form, you always seem to out-grace. Trying to bend my mind's eye around it, yet I cannot begin to expound it, I simply know that a wayward glance, is more than enough to set a heart a-dance.
so sweet... i fall in love with someone new everyday, i'm insane i am!
there's no denying it!
after the gigglepants outing v wanted to know if we felt like going to the film festival with him. he said he was going to run; i love the french. but v is 26 and a professor and french and i can't say i'm not attracted to him...so i said no. i'm not going to go with a professor (even if he's not my professor) to a function like that. i mean come on, it's a friday night, there will be people on dates everywhere at an event like that. with magan it was fine, but just he and i? nah. too risky. besides, it's not so much that i'm interested in him; it's that he's interesting to me, as are most french people.
aaaaand...if i ever go to grad school and he is grading my papers/deciding whether or not i have a doctorate in french? nope, i've already learned not to date a co-worker. anyhow he probably wouldn't ask me out.
hah! and i thought he was asking kate out that night! heck, he probably wasn't...although kate is extremely cute, and flirts with him. all i know is i'm glad i didn't go with him. i wouldn't want to give off the wrong impression, even though i do think highly of him. the french are so very industrious, he has shown me that. he is completely dedicated to this play, he wants everything to be just perfect, and he's outgoing and polite and forthright and all sorts of good adjectives. but i'm smarter than that, and i feel right in my decision. i've become a bit of a leader in the past few days, i need to keep that up. and people want to help! i shouldn't be so scared of them all. what horrors could possibly go wrong? sure, mistakes can and likely will be made, but risk and fun are part of life!
and as for the guy on the lawn--i feel like if i were somehow different, like if i were a better Christian, we would hit it off. i feel like maybe in some other life, some life where i'm a better person than i am now, i might actually marry the guy, or one like him. i do want to say something the next time i run across him, i don't know what yet. probably 'hey i saw you at the gigglepants thing, and i know i've seen you somewhere before. did you go to hamilton junior high?" and then he would think on it and voila conversation. go jo.
...another guy who has been on my mind lately is greg. yes, gregory webster, the guy who lives on my floor and is a complete riot and hates his job at tcby. this morning at 5 am or so i put a yellow post-it note up on his door saying 'LUXURIOUS power tools!" in reference to last weekend's apples to apples craziness; i had been awake and cramming for linguistics. i doubt he'll figure out it was me, and hey, he hopefully laughed. i'm tempted to go walk by his door and see if the note has been removed, but i'm sure somebody took it off. oy. maybe he has written back on his own wall, that could be interesting. perhaps he knows it's me, perhaps not. i stuck the note underneath his name though, and not sam's, just to be clear (sam isn't single, probably because he's english). then again, the note could have simply fallen off, as the adhesive on the back of those things is at times unreliable. the worst case scenario is if he thinks it's someone else's doing...but i doubt that, i don't know why i doubt but i do.
but what girl wouldn't like greg? he's not every girl's 'type', and he's probably not mine, but i'm intrigued. vexed.
"You want to vex my sister!"
-Kate and Leopold
so yeah...i like a lot of dudes. *sigh*
i know right well it's unhealthy. masochistic, even, considering i'd rather not get married until i'm quite old (quite old=30 or so). i want to enjoy my life alone, i'm fairly good at that. other people just confuse and annoy me.
i sound like a self-centered ungrateful bitch. well tonight perhaps i am.
bonne nuit, mes amours!
10:43 p.m. - 2006-02-17
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