backyard crowing


david dream

if you haven't been following this journal lately, or you don't know the situation:
i'm dating robson. his neighbor is david. i am into them both, but wouldn't hurt robson for the world, even though i still don't know either of them very well. so, i am doing everything in my power to not seem like i am (or was) interested in david. isn't college fascinating? oh my yes.

i had a dream last night that david was moving to tennessee.

i think it was triggered by the fact that on facebook someone wrote, "david, does your change of profile picture mean you're moving? nooooo! please don't leave!"
in a way i hope he moves--it would make my life a whole lot simpler. but at the same time i do have an awful crush on him, but i'm excellent at hiding it. i'm sure robson has his suspicions though, when we watched saw in his (david's) room, robson was more touchy feely than usual and my gosh i'm going to have to keep playing it cool. yeesh. how do i get myself into these situations? huh? how?

i guess that person's question ("are you moving?") triggered in my subconscious quite a worry, or sense of relief, i'm still not entirely sure which yet.

back to my dream--
i had just gotten back from a play performance we (david and i) had been involved with. since i had a special job to do for the play (props, anyone?) i had to stay later than all the other cast members. so after my duties are finished, i go to his house, a beautiful victorian mansion. i walk into the dark kitchen and he is sitting at the table, pondering. my dad is there too, and his grandfather i believe. the two elders don't say anything the whole time, they just sit there, tending to one thing or another, i can't remember now what exactly. i look at the table, and three light stacks of paper lie on the top. each stack consists of pieces of paper with different questions on them, and they all pertain to david's moving. the questions are for his friends and people he knows, and they involve whether or not they think he should move. i start filling out the papers, writing that i only hope he goes wherever he can find happiness. then i start talking to him, and i ask him if he's really going to move, and he tells me yes, to tennessee. he's serious about the whole thing, and yet so am i. i really hope he finds peace wherever he decides to live and travel.

david is a very special guy. i wish i had hugged him. i want to hug him now, and he's somewhere in this city.

i just noticed he changed his profile picture--it's no longer skyscrapers! maybe that means he's not moving?

heaven help me!

- Wednesday, Mar. 15, 2006


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