backyard crowing


les miserables

robson brought me quadruplet yellow tulips yesterday! he continues to be such a gentleman.

he came in tonight at 11:15 or so and said goodnight with ramon, and as he was leaving, david walked by the room. he continued down the hall, turned around, and then asked me if i had a copy of Les Miserables. he then asked leila if she had it, and she had no idea what he was talking about. he explained the whole plot to us, ending and all. he then asked me if i thought his summary sufficient, and i admitted that i had never seen the play to begin with. "oh--then nobody kills themselves, and the ending is very mysterious", were a few of his parting words.

and i realized my heart beat faster when he came around. i've noticed this before about him, but...robson as i've said before doesn't make my heart race. i like him an awful lot, and he's fun to hang out with, and i'm even fairly attracted to him, but he doesn't make my heart race. why didn't i just hug david when i had the chance? heck, i wanted to kiss the guy at the end of that night, hugs be damned.

i thought about returning the notes he lent me that night he taught me better note-taking skills shortly after he dropped by--so i put on my shoes, ruffled my hair (he had complimented my haircut), and grabbed my purse and the notes. i paced around for a minute or two, and then sat back down on my bed, discouraged. then my roommate started to talk to me.

"do you want to go somewhere?'
"oh, no."
'well, you had your flip flops on, so i was wondering."
"no, i'm fine."
"are you sure you don't want to go somewhere?'

so i didn't go. robson went straight to bed after he said goodnight, so i could have easily knocked on david's door like i was planning to without being walked in on. only i would not be walked in on anyhow, as i would not have been doing anything wrong dropping his notes off. i owe that boy his notes, he may have already had his test involving those notes. and here i was all the while, with them in my notebook.

what does a girl do when she finds herself in this situation?

i'm just going to wait it out, enjoy robson's company, and see where it goes. if robson and i don't work out (which--come on, we're only 19, what d'you speck?!), then i'll pursue david. as of now though, i think he considers me untouchable, and i feel likewise.

some might call this strategy "leading him on", but i would fullheartedly disagree. i'm still not incredibly familiar with robson, and i figure it's important to date different types of guys. i suppose i experienced a huge transition to go from being completely enamoured with david, who has caught my interest since september. september.


other than that, i ate a myriad of bad-for-me foods today, so feeling very fat:
-a cup of goldfish crackers
-green grapes (they're for some reason not as healthy as red ones)
-an entire can of planter's honey roasted peanuts
-one of those little containers of cereal -- total rasin bran, which is nutritious, but with all of the calories i consumed today i might as well go get lipo
-if there's anything else i forgot


i seem to be in a pattern lately of eating nothing for hours on end and then consuming gobs...and waiting another long period of time before the next meal. i don't intend to operate this way, but it has become my habit. i'm sure it's probably a bad one. argh. i seriously need to start gyming again with leila.

- Monday, Mar. 20, 2006


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