backyard crowing
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kiss dream
i had a dream last night that i was kissing him, tongue and all, ever so gently and for the first time. at the start the whole situation was awkward but cute, which is exactly how i imagine it will be if he ever makes the move.
i wonder how it would be to kiss him so often it's almost embarassing. and just to have his face near mine is wonderful, to hear his heart beat next to mine and feel his warm skin and cool feet.
...and those lips! so full and sure of themselves, like angelina jolie's. oh, to have them on mine for longer than a second!
i'm so glad he has that beard, that should be fun...the other night he ran it over my face, mmm. i laughed lightly, but i was a little more than thrilled.
but we're never alone. his roommate is always present, or more people from the floor. now, i LOVE our floor, but sometimes i wish we had more one-on-one time, and no, not just to play tongue hockey. we can't be happy without some stimulating conversation, and neither can any other couple, i'm convinced.
his movements are jerky and his hands shake sometimes, but i think i match, since i move slowly in whatever i do. we even out. even though i'm just as unsure of myself as he is sometimes, i like feeling that i have some control over my body, he's so warm, that boy...i like the way he smells, but i can't identify the scent.
i would tell you also that a couple of nights ago i dreamed that he, his ex, a guy i was once interested in, and myself were all at a volunteering function, and that in this dream everyone flirted incessantly with each other, and i ran out crying and confused, but that's a sadder dream than the one mentioned above, so i'll not write it.
and a sidenote: i know we're not serious and i'm nowhere near in love with him, i simply enjoy his company and i'm eager to see what is to come.
i don't know why i felt obliged to explain myself just now, perhaps because i'm worried someday i will let whoever i marry see this journal, and i won't want him to think i was in love with the guy. today is our 1-month anniversary, if you count from the first date on. :)
10:00 pm - Monday, Mar. 27, 2006
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