backyard crowing


enough dating already

i don't know what to think anymore. i'm so tired. i don't want to date ever again for the rest of the semester, i've had quite enough. goodnight.

i'm so relaxed now, though. i don't have to do anything with anybody this week except show up for class and study. that's the bare minimum. i don't have to worry about where he is and if he's going to come invite me to something. i don't have to stress over 'when am i going to have time to do such-and-such piece of homework?' or 'what should i wear?' or 'what is he thinking?', because there is no longer a he. well, there is, but only as a friend. i just need something, and i don't really know what. i've now tried shopping, eating, working out, writing, and talking about the situation. i'm doing all the necessary moving-on types of things that people do after a breakup. i'm so tired.

if leila wants to hang out, i'm going to turn her down. i need my alone time, even if she doesn't need any.

i need to talk to mom.

- Tuesday, Apr. 04, 2006


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