backyard crowing



behove. "It would behove you to..."

i hate that word! it has been ages since i've heard it out of my mother or anyone, yet i still can't stand the sound of it. behove. behove this, jerk.

behove is like should. you should this, you should that, you should get on with your own life and let mine alone. should is a word john morris taught me how to hate, because he hated it, too.

i wonder where that man is now. i looked at his band's website, and at some of their more recent photos. he wasn't featured in any of the new pictures as far as i could tell, and some other guy was. now, this could be the recording dude or a friend of the band's, but i must wonder...go into diamondhead, i'm sure i'd be able to track him down if i really wanted to. the used bookstore he worked at has shut down. he hated his boss.

i have tommorow off! we have a new employee, jessica, who will start at ut next year as a chem major. another youngster, hooray! she seems very sweet, and she speaks spanish, too. a big white guy walked in today and asked for an application. i wonder if sabino will hire him? it might be nice to have a fellow english-only speaker in the house. then again, just because you're white doesn't mean you don't know spanish!

yesterday i had a whopping 12 item corrects. sabino didn't seem to happy about that, but i think i'm fine.

i'm completely broke and i don't get paid till july 12. aie. i owe my mother sixty bucks and two pints of blue bell mint chocolate chip ice cream. mint really is the best flavor, with chocolate chip cookie dough coming in at a distant second. dad owes me some money for unloading his car when he was in salt lake city and he hasn't paid me back yet. grrr. he forgot, or perhaps he hopes i forgot. mom also owes me money, but i'm not sure how much she will pay me. ugh. i hope this shit wasn't in vain. in vain=slave labor.

mom is trying to cut down on bills, so in addition to the 25 minute showers, i also need to remember to not call 1411 or long distance AT ALL anymore from anywhere but my cellphone. AT&T took over the company that mom usually uses.

i'm so happy i finally found a job, mostly because it means life with mom is a little less hellish. she was so smug the first day i came home wiped from work that i almost moved out right there and then. who the hell does she think she is? i hate her.

my comfort is that in 58 days i will be going to class. in 53 i will have finished my job and started moving in. i want to move out the day after i quit my job. that will be wednesday, august 26, 2006. jester, here i come! i can't wait to get back. i need to get out of here. my mother and i drive each other insane.

i'm such a loner, i haven't done anything with friends at all this summer except for eat dinner with krista and lisa. i've spent so much time looking for a job and fending off my mother that i haven't had the chance to DO anything with friends. then again, i don't usually make it a point to go hang out with them, and christy the redhead...well, i've dumped her, in a way.

it bothers me that she and aren't chummy anymore, and she doesn't even know it. either that or she's completely aware that we're history, and she's ecstatic about it. i had good times with her, i enjoyed her company. we had fun, and memories, and hey, i gave her a plant. a plant is a cool gift! i went to california and brought her some bamboo. i went to mexico and brought her a hand painted clay fish. i went to france and brought her a monet print. i copied the john mayer trio album and added a few tracks at the end for her, but she never got it because she never called me back. she blew me off three times over, and my mom saw right through it. maybe it's good that i still want to be her friend. God still wants to be her friend, right? God still wants to be EVERYBODY'S friend, even after they've acted against Him. besides, i'm just a person. if another person doesn't treat me rightly, that's their problem. if someone offends my God, i should be enraged. right? isn't that how Christians get angry? aren't the things that demean God the only things that can make a righteous Christian mad?

that's the way i learned it, anyway. whether it's true or not...well, no, it's true. it's just hard to believe because of how the world turns, and what the world teaches its inhabitants.

i showed mom the movie Catch Me If You Can tonight, i didn't realize she hadn't seen it. she thought it long, but had fun. i remember kayla telling me she didn't think much of the film, and that she thought it would never end. i don't tire of watching it easily.

- monday, Jul. 03, 2006


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