backyard crowing
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toxicity
I have this sudden, romantic urge to just e-mail Sean (guy from a dating site) and write, "Hey, I like you."
Simple as that. It's 2:56 am and I'm tired and sappy, and I just want to be held. I feel open and vulnerable. I want to fall asleep next to him, or someone. I am cheesy and lonely and my heart aches loosely in my chest this witching hour, as if maybe it does not exist at all. I have had an incredible day, and a week from today I am leaving on a plane to Missouri. I want someone to coo at...I feel weak, but in a good way. Take me away, somebody...
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later, when i woke up, an hour or so before work:
i feel toxic. mom is here this morning, and just her presence drives me nuts. last night i couldn't get to sleep until 6 am, and when my alarm rang at 10 am, i realized she was home; it's a saturday. ugh. i'm just annoyed being around her, because i know she'll criticize my routine.
last night i ate a bunch of chocolate chips before i went to bed. i am now paying for it. groaaaan...i want to call in sick, but i can't possibly. all i can say is: since it's saturday, we'll be hella busy, and my shift is only 4.5 hours, so the time will fly by. i WILL survive this day. hopefully when i get home from work she won't still be here. ugggh...
2:56 a.m. - saturday, july 29, 2006
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