backyard crowing
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glimmer
my grandparents (father's parents) have enjoyed, endured, enlightened togetherness together for fifty years now my parents choked through ten celebrations of new years their last one consisted of she leaving him they took a little stroll in the dark together while the fireworks exploded and she discussed their togetherness how she didn't want it any longer how 'together' wasn't an appropriate word for them how together she would be without him ten new years celebrations later and i have learnt just how her hatred of her former in-laws shines through me "write a poem for their golden fiftieth," someone suggests, I cannot imagine a better idea. what a wonderful, cheap gift. i take pen to paper and begin with nothing, nothing, nothing, because i realize i am nothing like my grandparents, nor do i desire to mirror their ways i am woman powerful i do not bake i do not clean i do not hand a man a toothbrush and tell him to clean his pearly whites i do not respond well to someone if they tell me to wear a girdle i am nothing like my father's mother i will never be anything like her never! my face is blue with the opinions of my elders my stomach lurches menacingly at their every glance and syllable my eyes are weary, red and dry from the sleep they've stolen from me my veins crave youthful blood and risky falls my feet ache for the tightrope my ears ring from their obnoxious, know-it-all screaming i am people-weary --------- there is only a glimmer of me that doesn't want to go back to school, that is the glimmer that makes me feel fat...austin girls are downright gorgeous. they're young and beautiful and skinny. i'm young, somewhat pretty, but not really skinny at all. the one thing i dread about returning to school is my body issues. i'm also going to totally kick ass grade-wise, and if i don't, i'm going to die or something. so that will stress me out, too. but goodness, i can't WAIT to get the heck out of here. i would leave now if i could. at least i have only three more days at the sandwich shop! speaking of which, there's a regular who came in today, and i served him. he's very cute, and i just knew i had seen him somewhere before, somewhere other than just in the store. he finally stepped up today and asked me who i was. turns out he once dated my friend kelly in high school, and he went to prom with her. he mumbled something like, "hm, brings back painful memories." darn. they worked at h&h together. ---------- me: (cheaper than texting) marcus: Hello, sweetheart me: Hey Mister 8-) marcus: What's up? me: do you have an affinity for any particular nickname? me: nm, just lying in bed me: or is it laying? me: who knows marcus: Call me... marcus: Fuckhead marcus: Totally kidding. me: ha! good me: that's not flattering at all me: oops, understatement marcus: Budum-pshh me: understatement is a good song by newfound glory me: pshhhhhhh me: pshaw marcus: Shwing! me: schwing. schwingers bar. me: schwingtastic me: blanigantastic me: blaniganeffingtasticc marcus: Are you feeling well? me: yes me: :-) me: although it might not seem that way me: most of the time me: hah! truer words were never typed! me: (blanigantastic is a reference to that 70s show. nevermind.) marcus: This word association is hurting my brain me: which one? marcus: Which is weird, cause I just watched all of FLCL in japanese with subtitles marcus: All of them :-P me: hehe me: you asked, "Are you feeling well?" and i replied in spurts: "yes. :-) although it might not seem that way, most of the time." me: i watched grizzly man with my mom tonight me: that dude is my hero marcus: ? marcus: ? me: okay, grizzly man is a documentary about a dude who spent 13 years in alaska with wild grizzlies, studying them. that dude is my hero. me: but it's a little indie documentary, i wouldn't be at all surprised if you hadn't heard of it me: it did win something at sundance, though marcus: I shee me: shanks marcus: *picks you up and sets you on lap* me: hm, i'm not that light but okay me: details, details marcus: I'm not that weak me: haha me: *runs fingers through your hair* me: *plants her lips on yours* marcus: *puts his tounge in your mouth* me: i've seen it so many times in movies me: i think i've imagined it enough to know what that's like marcus: What's that? marcus: Making out? me: kissing me: yep me: do you remember your first open-mouthed kiss? marcus: I'll show you marcus: Yes actually marcus: It was when I was watching some rob schnieder movie marcus: Maybe the animal, maybe somthing else me: how old were you? marcus: I think it was though marcus: 14 15ish me: is he the guy with dark curly hair? me: kind of bug-eyed? me: was it any good? marcus: It was alright me: did you initiate or did she? (i'm assuming it was a she, i could be mistaken though) marcus: Uhm... I actually think we planned it me: you're kidding me, right? i think this is a ploy... marcus: No really me: really? how funny marcus: Pretty much everything she and I did we talked about on the internet me: hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa me: okay now i KNOW you're kidding marcus: No I'm serious me: really? me: you know that's hard to believe, don't you? marcus: Neither one of us could drive and we used AIM to talk and we lived a long way away from each other me: wow, i guess times haven't changed me: oops, yeah okay i totally don't believe you me: (i was going to say how sad it is that times appear to not have changed( me: so how did you meet her? marcus: Why? marcus: band camp me: well, i would like to think that a 20 year old would not have to arrange smooches via internet me: 15 is more forgivable for that sort of silliness me: or desperateness me: i'm just curious, i enjoy first kiss stories marcus: No I was 14 or 15 and she was 2 years younger marcus: So yeah me: so she could have been 12 marcus: Yup me: where then did you kiss? marcus: Theater me: so you were able to arrange a date or something like it without a car? that's cool marcus: Well, Beaumont was between where I lived and she lived me: and me: do you feel loads older than you were then me: i mean everybody does, i suppose marcus: And so we went to a theater in beaumont, our parents drove us marcus: Everyone tells me I look older marcus: I don't nessesarily feel older though marcus: Oh weait marcus: That I was then marcus: Yes, much older me: yeah me: well, that's sweet me: your story i mean marcus: Well marcus: Thanks :-) me: ha, you're welcome marcus: I think your sweet me: likewise :-D marcus: *grope* me: hehe me: *rests head in your lap* marcus: *rubs hand through hair* me: *kisses your neck* me: *gets up and straddles you, taking your neck in her fingers* marcus: *kisses you and bits your bottom lip* me: *unbuttons her shirt slowly and seductively, letting your eyes roll over her* me: *unhooks her bra* marcus: *Kisses down your neck, your chest between your breasts, leans you down, to your belly button, and back up* me: *unbuttons and unzips her jeans* me: *pop* marcus: *Kisses your waiste around your pantyline* me: *takes your hands and traces them all over my panties* me: *takes your fingers and rubs my clit with them, through the cloth* me: that was grammatically terrible, but you get the idea marcus: *pushes with my thumb* marcus: To make you feel more comfortable me: oh thanks marcus: *kisses your body again, then again, biting* me: *places your mouth on one of my nipples* me: *closes eyes* marcus: *sucks on your nipple lightly at first* marcus: *sucks harder* me: *shivers* marcus: *sucks harder, lets it go, and bites on it lightly* me: *breathes harder* me: *licks lips* me: *slides panties down* marcus: *lays you down and kisses down lower* me: wooo marcus: *kisses the inside of your thighs* marcus: Woo? me: as in yay! me: is that not really a good word for you? marcus: Heehee, what are we celebrating? me: i don't know me: my car being without flaws? marcus: Not the only thing without flaws... *licks your pussy lips* me: hehe! me: mmm... me: *grabs your hands and places them on her breasts* me: (y'know, to keep you busy and multitasking) me: sex is just full of multitasking it seems marcus: *pinches your nipples, while licking your pussy lightly marcus: It comes naturally marcus: Trust me me: hehe =-O me: not the kind of multitasking they want you to do at work me: well thank goodness!! :-) me: but if sex was anything like work, no one would be interested in it marcus: I'll show you if you'd like me: and then people would stop having babies me: the human race would cease to exist me: i don't feel ready, but thanks for the offer marcus: When you're ready then *kiss* me: aw :-) marcus: Hee me: *hug* marcus: I'll be content with taking naked pictures of you till then... me: lol me: you think you're going to talk me into polaroids, but you're mistaken me: i do have a new camera now though! me: new to me anyway me: it's from my granddad marcus: Mwuahahaha me: slr, a film camera, a nikon 20/20 me: haha me: i would be totally unable to get naked pictures of myself developed with a straight face me: i mean, wouldn't you? me: imagine the look on the photo person's face marcus: What if I developed them marcus: ? marcus: My phone has a camera anyway me: especially if they were male marcus: I'd give a thumbs up marcus: If it was a guy I'd call him a fag marcus: Just out of spite me: wait, you'd give who a thumbs up? the photo person? me: ahaaaa marcus: Yes me: so if they were pictures of you, and it was a girl developer (pardon the pun), you'd give a thumbs up, but if it was a guy you'd just say, "Fag!" and then leave? me: or am i way off here? marcus: If it was a girl I'd say somthing like "feel free to make doubles" me: hahaaa me: well that's confident of you me: overconfident, quite perhaps :-) marcus: Well, I'd get my pictures first marcus: But yeah, I'd call him a fag marcus: No, that's asshole of me marcus: Not as a normal thing marcus: Just to avoid the awkwardness of it all me: oh, i get it me: because "feel free to make doubles" is so outlandish, it might actually ease the pressure me: (again, pardon the pun) marcus: If there were pictures of me to be awkward about, I'm sure there's little to "ease the pressure" marcus: Giggity me: me too, actually me: and once again, that guy is friggin' creepy! me: creeeeeepiiiiiiiiie! me: back again! me: the last thing i saw was creeeeeeeeeepiiiiiiiiiiiie! marcus: Crepie? marcus: Wuzzat? me: no, just creepy. not like a crepe. me: i was reiterating that the family guy character who always says 'giggity' is creepy marcus: Mmm... Crepes... me: Yum! me: chocolate crepes are delicious me: but that's to be expected marcus: Mmm... me: anything chocolate tends to be good marcus: Know what else is delicious? me: chocolate panties? me: what were you going to say? marcus: Hmm... I'm sure they are but I doubt they're practical me: haha marcus: But I was going to say you in general me: practicality is pointless when speaking about sex toys me: haha! :-* me: because you've tasted me, hehe marcus: You look delicious marcus: Therefore you must be me: haha me: that is not always a rule to go by me: but okay marcus: Not like I'm judging a book by its cover or anything... me: haha! noooo, of course not me: :-) marcus: Ok, there's 2 thing I want to ask me: shoot marcus: First, what is your opinion of oral? me: i once thought it was gross, but after much consideration, i figured it must feel good. i mean, just thinking about it...it has to be good, right? me: a tongue is warm and wet just like um.....a man me: so why wouldn't it feel good down there? marcus: What about giving? me: i've never gotten or given before, but i think it would be interesting to see what giving is like. it seems like men like the getting, and also that it's pleasing to please me: so, why not marcus: Okie dokie! me: i mean, i'm asking 'why not?' of the general public, not myself marcus: Now, next question me: okay marcus: What's your opinion on porn? me: i'm really not into it. porn is stupid, an addiction, and degrading to women and men alike, even if men don't feel that way. in certain environments (like with married couples who are looking for adventure), i think it's okay. i mean, it's much like a sex toy, but at the same time a guy watching porn develops expectations me: i think the less you know about playing in bed, the more fun you'll have... me: does that make sense? marcus: I see me: what i'm trying to say is that if you don't watch porn, you don't have a "right idea" about what sex is supposed to be like. marcus: Like exploring on ones own me: and if you don't know what it's supposed to be like, you do whatever the heck you feel like--whatever feels good to you me: yeah, exactly me: it forces you to be more creative, i think me: but don't think i don't think you look at porn; you sent me a link marcus: I did that one for the artistic value me: oh really? hm. me: riiight me: :-) marcus: No really marcus: I could show you... Uh... Nevermind. me: we were talking about breasts, and you sent me a link of some nice ones, if i remember right me: how was that artistic? marcus: That particular set was very artistic me: *rolls eyes* okay, dude marcus: We can make some artistic pictures me: i will be in photojournalism next semester me: (hence the new camera) marcus: Mwuahaha marcus: Sorry me: hehe marcus: You keep saying things that give me ideas marcus: I'm much to naughty for your good me: you are marcus: And yet you still talk to me marcus: You ma'am are a conundrum me: yes, often i wonder why me: let's seeeee......how can i be innocent and not at the same time? lol me: ugh marcus: Ugh? me: i don't know me: i guess it was an 'ugh' of frustration with myself. no matter what i do, i'm thinking 'ugh' me: and you know, that last sentence made complete sense me: but it still doesn't result in a decision marcus: Hm me: i guess there is no way to respond to all of that drivel me: blahbitty blah blah blah blah me: woohoo it's 3 am me: i must be lonely! me: (that's a matchbox 20 song) me: all the rain's gonna wash away our beliefs....yeaaaah me: goodnight, mr. marcus marcus: Awwww marcus: *lick* me: hehe me: *kiss kiss* me: *falls asleep on your shoulder* marcus: You have a good night sweetheart me: you too
- tuesday, august 15, 2006
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lovesounds - futuresex
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