backyard crowing


three words

I had a strange dream last night that I was on a trapeze over the ocean. The trapeze was connected to a cruise ship, and I swung quickly. I remember wondering if I should hold on loosely or tightly to my feet. If I held tightly, I found that I lost my balance, and if I held loosely, I might fall off the trapeze and into the ocean! It was such a delicate maneuver, but then the dream stopped.

I also remember something about walking a thick tightrope, with lots of strings attached to me.

My second dream was about a 40-year old pregnant lady and a younger guy, about 30 years old. They lived in a different society, in a world where men and women were not allowed to tell each other if they were interested. Women were treated with little regard, and a pregnant woman was not allowed into a bar. However, there were some exceptions, and the pregnant lady got in. When she walked in, they lifted her up and found that she was heavy, and thought that she was actually a man, and loaded with money. Before they found out she was female, they thought they would earn lots of cash by selling her alcohol. So she goes further into the bar and meets up with this young guy, who's very curious about her. It's as if she's a rarity, both pregnant and old--somehow this sparks the guy's interest. I can remember she was so dejected, and someone told her she needed to leave the bar. She told him to meet her at her apartment, and that was the end.

I also had a dream a few nights ago that I was in a lecture hall back at school, and I was wearing a hat. The whole room was dark except for a single spotlight that shone on the professor, and the light of the powerpoint display. There was some dude a few rows up from me that kept talking about something, and trying to convince me to leave the lecture to go do something. After a while I became annoyed and took a different seat on the other half of the auditorium next to a couple of girls. Then a TA walked past and asked me to take off my hat, so I apologized and removed it. After a minute or two, I completely forgot what she had just asked me to do, and started thinking about how nice I would feel if I had my hat on. My short term memory failed me unexpectedly, and so I put on the hat again. Sure enough, the TA walked by and told me again to remove it. I was mortified by this time, and took the hat off again. I then looked down and noticed that I had forgotten to put a shirt on that morning, and I reached into my backpack and put on the shirt I had left there. No one had noticed I wasn't wearing a shirt! In the end I left the class and resolved to read the book extra carefully on the lecture's material. Quelle cauchemar! (What a nightmare!)

Anyone have ideas on any of this? I've heard that the oh-my-gosh-I'm-naked-and-no-one-else-can-tell dreams happen to a LOT of people, and I believe I've had them before.

That's all I've got today!


yesterday afternoon a guy said "love ya" to me on the phone before he hung up (marcus). this is the second time that a male other than my family has said that he loves me. i want to love him, but i don't. these past few days, i have been trying to come up with ways to tell him that i think we shouldn't communicate anymore. we're not a couple, and i thought we agreed to not make a decision about the type of relationship that we have just yet. as soon as i hung up, i FREAKED. i think he may really like me...he does really like me. LOVE me, even. oh, boy...

knowing this is like knowing about 9/11 and not doing anything about it. i just know it's going to happen. i don't think we'll become a thing. i don't really want to become a thing, but a makeout buddy would be nice. if we were ever to become friends with benefits, i would have a bunch of rules. what would they be? i should write them down.

1. no tv on during the act--maybe a record/cd, but no tv or movies in the background.

2. no removal of my clothes, except my shirt. the shirt can go, but not the bra.

3. no oral sex. (i don't want that until marriage, which will probably not be for many, many years...oral sex is also way too similar to regular sex, which i'm saving)

4. if we're laying on a couch/bed and making out, i would like to be on the bottom.

5. lights out.

6. if either of us wants to stop in the middle of a makeout session for any reason, we will stop. immediately.

7. if either of us finds someone else who we want to see exclusively, we will end our fwb relationship. immediately.

8. you can touch below the waist, but only through my clothes.

9. in public, we're friends.

10. absolutely no bragging or telling about our little adventures to your friends.

11. no pictures/videotapes.

- wednesday, august 23, 2006


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