backyard crowing


gigantiteddy boyfriend

i think maybe i have a type. it's the philosophical, i-met-you-at-the-laundromat, experimenting semi-hippie guy. they are the shiznit.

david was one, and now roy is one. man he's cute. he's learning hypnosis so that he can be entertaining at parties where he can't get drunk.


\"Be thankful in adversity.\"

I saw this on a Baha'i website. Baha'i is d's religion, and I almost can't believe I'm curious about it. I'm not saying I would or wouldn't convert if we ever got as far as considering marriage, just that I'm curious because of the fact that...yeah, he's Baha'i, and it's unusual and I had never heard of it. And no, I'm not dating him. I never have. Infact, the guy probably knows I like him and would rather I didn't.

But that quote was great, I want to post it all over my walls and mirrors. I seriously need to focus on those words with intensity.

\"Be thankful in adversity.\"

I was just walking around today trying to hurry up and take pictures around town for my photo project, and I was so scared that I wasn't taking the pictures correctly. I was hot and tired, and wearing those horrible jeans that always slip off of my hips, so I had to keep hiking them up. On top of that, I accidentally busted my styrofoam cup of Jamba Juice, and I accidentally ordered the wrong cup size, so I was forced to drink the whole thing extra fast. I was freaking out, too, because I couldn't manage to unload and reload the film, and had to go ask the lady at CVS to help me do it. I think I may have ruined my last few pictures from trying to unload it and screwing it up. I was losing my head.

\"Be thankful in adversity.\"

I wasn't, but I want to become so. I believe it's entirely possible for me to take such advice to heart.


Would it be fair to say that religion is what people with time have? How about money?

I can't stop wondering when my life will finally slow down. I go to school, I come home, I eat, I sleep, I do my homework, and then it all starts over again. Then I go home for the summer, and I work. Life is a whirlwind, nothing ever seems to slow. When I graduate, I see myself bustling around, trying to find a good job, keep the job, and climb the career totem pole. I don't know if it will ever stop. When will I feel relaxed? When will I feel like I'm stopping to smell the roses? What if I never enjoy my life, I just speed through it, trying my utmost to reach success--or is it some other person's version of success?

I want to make my minutes worthwhile. I know that someday very soon, I'll be old. I'll look into the mirror and cringe instead of gazing. I want to be able to justify time spent.

Perhaps my religion is a religion of relaxation. It seems that when I'm not working on school or work, I'm trying to just have fun, and when I try to just have fun, I'm not productive. But that's okay--fun is often unproductivity. The people who think that work is fun are the ones that get ahead. The nerds, the bookworms, the brains--these chumps dominate, and I know it. Truly, I was once one of them, but now they have far surpassed me. Or so it feels.

I'm getting melodramatic, quite perhaps. It's 10:12 pm and I've already cried once today. I should sleep.


3 am
sometimes i just want a big bear of a guy, and not like the skinny indie boy type. i mean like the guys who just have a big presence, the ones you can really snuggle up to.

most of the time though, this isn't the case.

but at 3 am, i want a bear. a gigantiteddy boyfriend.


marcus: Hey you
me: hey, what's up
me: i saw jake gyllenhaal last night
marcus: Woo
me: i went to the guster and gomez concert at la zona rosa, and he was there, buying a drink
me: i didn't say hi or ask for his autograph though
marcus: Woo
me: infact, nobody did! it was weird...but he was with two guys and a girl, the two guys might have been security guards, idk
marcus: Was it jake gyllenhal?
me: yeah, i asked the two guys and they said yes, it was really him
me: and then my jaw hit the floor
me: and they chuckled
marcus: Woo
me: woo indeed!
marcus: I met Maddox at a book sighning
me: cool, what did he say?
marcus: He wrote \"Marcus- I'm the best -Maddox\"
me: haha!
me: awesome
me: how blatantly self-centered
marcus: Yeah
me: that's cool
marcus: You get more of a sense that its a big joke when you meet him in person
marcus: Hey
me: hey what
marcus: You wanna go to metro tonight if I get off early enough?
me: i would, but i've got loads of reading tonight and my mom is coming to visit tommorow, so i can't do it then
marcus: Aw
me: and besides that, I thought we talked on the phone? or were you just asking as a friend?
marcus: As a friend
me: well thanks
marcus: I haven't seen you in a while and I just wanted to
marcus: You're better company than I am
me: maybe next weekend
me: aw, thanks
me: i take pride in my corporate ways
me: have you heard of guster?
marcus: That was a terrible pun and you should be ashamed of yourself
me: hehe
marcus: No, whozat?
me: it's the band i saw last night, i've been a fan since high school and bam, finally got to see 'em
me: brb teh laundry calls
marcus: Woo!
me: yep
me: laundry is pretty awesome
me: did you see that movie school of rock?
me: hilARious
marcus: Yes
marcus: Can I ask somthing?
me: of course
marcus: What made you change your mind?
me: about what exactly
me: a relationship with you?
marcus: Yes
me: I just didn't feel comfortable with all the things we had written. It's difficult to face people after certain things have occurred. Does that make sense? And besides that, I'm really trying to raise my gpa. This semester and next is critical to my future
marcus: Ah
me: And when you said \"Love ya\", it scared me.
marcus: Yeah I can understand that
marcus: Yeah, I have no idea where the hell that came from
marcus: That totally just popped out if you can believe me
me: That's okay. I mean, it was nice, just unexpected
me: I believe you
marcus: Happens more often than you'd think
me: well, and I was thinking some people are just raised with more affectionate jargon in everyday life than others. some people will say 'hon', or 'sweetie' or 'darling' or whatever, even if you've just met them
marcus: Yeah, I said it and I was like \"oh.... Did I...?\"
me: aw
marcus: Aw?
me: I don't know
me: well anyways
me: how has your weekend been
marcus: Not bad, I have work in like an hour
marcus: We were rediculously slow last night
marcus: But its all gravy
me: gravy?
marcus: Mmm... Gravy
me: like no big deal? haha
marcus: Yes
me: ew
me: yeah i guess friday nights should be pretty busy at a bowling alley
me: then again
me: this is ACL weekend
me: woot woot wish i had time to go
me: i volunteered there last year
me: it was tha bomb diggity
me: and in da hizzouse
marcus: Bomb... Diggity?
me: hahahahahahahahaha
me: i don't know, i'm just having fun
me: :-)
me: so my roommate is helping her friend move to austin from NY or somewhere (i think it's NY), so we'll have three in our dorm room for a couple of days or so...hopefully it won't be much longer than that
me: it will be just until she finds a place, and they're looking now
marcus: Rough
me: well, maybe, but i think it will be fun
me: so long as it's not dragged out to a couple of weeks
me: then? not so fun
me: and against the housing policy anyway
me: \"we got more bounce in california, like to party all the time...\"
me: Oh my gosh!!!!!!
me: itunes now offers movies!!!!! YEAH! i've been waiting for this
me: how badass!
me: hmm..
marcus: Hmm?
me: just wondering if you had left
me: is grosse pointe blank a good movie?
marcus: I dunno
me: cool
marcus: *poke poke*
marcus: Shower time
marcus: If that does anything for you...
me: haha
me: have fun
marcus: Always do ;-)
me: sssss!
me: :-D
marcus: Playing is for pleasure
me: apparently
me: is that a song or an observation
marcus: Its a line from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
marcus: This is a fun pool.
marcus: Yes.
marcus: Playing is for pleasure
me: youre at a pool?
marcus: No
marcus: That's the entire run of lines
me: ah, okay
marcus: Quite the opposite, I'm headed to work
me: boo
marcus: Yay! Monies!
me: oh, yay!
me: and not carino's!
marcus: Hooray beer!
me: do you drink on the job?
marcus: Yes!!!!1!!!11!one!!one!eleven
me: =-O
marcus: No
me: you drink 11 beers on the job?!
me: haha
marcus: The yes was for not xarinos
marcus: I wish
me: czarinos
marcus: I wish I could walk straight after 11 beers
marcus: Beer
me: haha
marcus: Would beer be pluralated like deer?
me: pluralized?
marcus: I drank eleven beer
marcus: I drank eleven beers
me: ha! gotcha
me: if you've had eleven beers, they become eleven beer
marcus: Pluralaralatedised
marcus: So it is like deer?
me: You've just been Plural'd!
me: no!
marcus: Dear?
marcus: LAFF
me: you'd BETTER laff
marcus: Is that a french no? Which means yes?
marcus: Giggity
me: in french, no = non
marcus: Yes
marcus: But when a french girl says no, she usually means yes
me: haaaaaaaaa
me: tfw?
marcus: Ftw?
me: it's an even more confused version of 'WTF?;
me: '
me: oi
marcus: The fuck what?
me: yeah!
me: i've seen it in some chatrooms
marcus: I know of ftw
marcus: \"For the win!\"
me: it struck me as hilarious/ludicrous
me: ohh, okay
me: my bad
marcus: As in \"frostbolt ftw!
marcus: \"
me: OSU FTW!
marcus: Well hey, I gotta go
me: okies
marcus: ... That's terrible...
marcus: Byes!
marcus is away at 7:00:41 PM.

- sunday, sept. 17, 2006


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