backyard crowing


no rents din din after all

well, jeffrey and i went to dinner tonight (it's becoming a habit) and now he's not so into my meeting his parents, which is fine by me. i was a little nervous about it myself, and heck, i've only been seeing him for about a week. i'm not offended, nor discouraged, but it does make me wonder, just a little. i don't think he has told his parents about me yet.

i think some of the excitement has worn off, but i'm still interested. he told me today further of his friend robin, a guy that always pressures him to drink. apparently robin parties and works very hard. he seems to get drunk every weekend, and jeffrey is concerned for him. he doesn't know much about drinking he says, and so he cannot tell if robin's habit is a problem or just another one of your college drinkers. i hope i don't turn out in either of those two categories, and i don't think i will. i CAN'T and survive my school load.

anyhow, jeffrey told me he sees a university counselor, which i think is a great idea for almost ANYONE, and he seemed slightly nervous about telling me that. so he's got issues. so does everybody! i like him still. i hope he's okay. i know his first year at UT (last year) was difficult. mine was too, and i have the grades to show for it. i don't know what to think at this point, but i'm beginning to see that he's not the greatest thing in the world, and that my real priority right now is gaining entrance to the college of communications, so help me God!

i don't think he studies much, yet he does well at school. i cannot do that, i always need to study beforehand to pass. people like him annoy me because they seem to have it so good academically. dad was like that. dammit!

anyway, i'm getting carried away with myself and worrying much too much about issues that do not matter. i just need to focus on getting into the college. after that, he can be a priority, but ONLY after that. i hope he understands how committed i am to my cause, but if he doesn't, then he's just another notch in my bedpost, only i'm a virgin, so that particular phrase does not apply to me.

12:04 am - Thursday, Oct. 26, 2006


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