backyard crowing


marcus and i finally make out!

i'm dazed. where do i begin?

marcus and i made out tonight. at 6:30 pm i was at Bible study, and just hours later, at 2:30 am, i was heavily making out with him. at about half past twelve he started instant messaging me, and asked, "Wanna make out?", plain and simple. whether he was kidding or not, i do not know. i didn't feel like kidding around this particular night, and since my roommate/Bible study inviter was at a sleepover, i decided now would be prime. so i met him at the entrance to my dorm, got him in as my guest, and we rode the very crowded elevator. i had showered before, and brushed my teeth. i wore pajama pants and a spaghetti strap shirt, but i rid myself of the shirt fairly quickly.

when we arrived at my room, he asked if i would prefer the lights to be off. i said yes. i'm really glad that at first, the lights were cut. i feel that made me more adventurous.

he unzipped the fleece hoodie that i had worn to go fetch him, and we started kissing while standing. those first few moments were some of the best that night; i think i enjoyed them most. so we laid down, and after some more kissing and touching, i decided to take off my shirt, which i didn't think i would do tonight. he was happy about that, and so was i. :)

that was my first first: being shirtless with a guy.

he kept asking me what he could do to make it better for me, and i wasn't making any clear suggestions one way or another, just staying silent. "what do you do when we're chatting about these things?" he asked. i was hesitant to say so out loud, and so i waited quite a while before saying, "squeezing." of course, he wanted to know where, and i told him he knew where. "No, i don't. show me." he replied, knowing exactly what i was talking about. his hands fell below, and he started to finger me through my panties, and then slid them back.

second first of the evening: being fingered.

he asked if i was okay with it, and i waited a little while before giving him the okay. i let him know though that i had never done this before, and he said he knew. i knew he had done this previously, but i asked him anyway: "have you done this before?" and, like a cocky young thing, he told me, "Yes, I know exactly what I'm doing." that fact made me want to roll my eyes, and shudder just a bit. i don't know what it is about saying naughty things...sometimes they come across as silly, sometimes hot, and sometimes both.

he asked me if i was turned on, and i told him i wasn't, not really. i mean, i was wet, but turned on? i don't know. when he first unzipped my jacket--i was turned on then, i believe. it was a rush at that point, our tongues were finally intertwined. and he was so gentle. he didn't rush, he took time to enjoy it. i was so happy about that. he says things sometimes that aren't so gentle, but the way he kissed, it was so patient. i really enjoyed it. i like just savoring his tongue. it's not sweet really, just warm. i'm thinking maybe kissing is mostly appealing because it brings warmth. the kissing isn't really what felt the best, it was the touching.

he asked if i regretted meeting to do this, and i told him, "no. not now, anyway." i think that disappointed him, and now i wish i had not said it. but hey, i was being honest.

he also asked if i was glad we did this, and i said yes. i was, i was really happy. the whole thing was so much so that he asked, "you're not falling asleep on me, are you?" so i told him no, i didn't think so. i hope i wasn't! then again, i hadn't slept much at all.

i am fairly sure he wanted me to touch him, down there. he sort of guided my hand there a couple of times, but i never did it. i think i might want to next time. i felt like two firsts in one night were plenty, and i was scared. i don't know, i just...didn't want to touch him there, not yet. he was warm and wet though, i felt a little bit through his clothes! when he left, he said something briefly about having to tuck it in. :)

well, there you go, there's another first: first time to graze a guy's manhood on purpose!

a while after he was fingering me, i wanted him to stop, and let him know. "but i want to make you come," he said so innocently. that was sweet, but i didn't want to go that far, and he stopped when i asked it of him. it was strange to have fingers down there, any at all. he was fairly vigorous, which i'm not sure i liked. it was as if he hit a good spot every once in a while, but not all the time. and he didn't penetrate, because i asked him not to. heck I don't even penetrate myself! usually i don't touch myself when i masturbate, i just...uh...clench. :D

and he said i was "light," which is about the sweetest thing he could have said.

he asked if i wanted to do this again on tuesday, and i said yes. YAY! I'm excited about next time. i've been thinking about what i want to do next...

and, for your laughing pleasure, i will give you an excerpt of a chat that i had with fellow blogger amazinfuckup:

me: i uh...made out with mr. negative
her: oh man
her: hahahahah
me: and it was good
her: ;DDDDD
me: yeah!
me: marcus is his real name, that's what i call him in the blog
me: whoah
me: so yeah
her: haha
her: it happens
me: ha, i suppose it does
me: but we're going to do it again on tuesday
her: man
her: you plan this shit?
her: haha
me: uh...yeah
me: online
me: over aim
her: i am just like HAY
me: that's more natural, i think

and here's the chat log that led up to the make out session (it started innocently enough, i was just talking about CAMERAS!):

marcus: *poke poke*
me: herro
me: *lick*
me: what's up
marcus: *shivver*
me: haha
me: i'm looking at fisheye cameras
me: and holgas
me: there are so many weird types of cameras i've never heard of
me: lomography is teh awesome!
marcus: Wanna make out?
me: are you being serious or not...
marcus: Either way
me: tommorow?
marcus: Now?
me: i'm exhausted and gross
marcus: I'm gross anyway
me: are you working tommorow or something?
marcus: Yes, among other things
me: i had zero hours of sleep the night before last, i truly am exhausted :-(
marcus: I'm working from 6-noon, drum corps from 1 to whenever I leave, and then I'm going to buy a Wii
me: a wii, what are those? we were talking about them today in my communication class
me: is it a gaming platform?
marcus: New Nintendo Console
marcus: Launches tomarrow
me: how much do they go for?
me: i heard there are people camping out
marcus: 250
marcus: No
me: yeesh
marcus: Not yet
marcus: Can I at least come over and cradle your breasts?
me: have you been drinking at all tonight?
marcus: Nope
marcus: I have to be at work at 6, that would be dumb of me
me: 6 am?
me: surely not 6 am, right?
marcus: Then again I'm dealing with Special Olympics, so I may start drinking anyway...
marcus: Yes
marcus: 6 Am- Noon
me: special olympics?
marcus: Yes
marcus: Tard Bowling :-)
me: hey
marcus: Kidding!
me: yeah, i know
me: they bowl at 6am?
me: WHO BOWLS at 6 am?!
marcus: Its special Olympics!
me: so?
marcus: I dunno, they're Retarded...
me: i guess so...
marcus: So how bout it
me: how about a week from today?
marcus: Won't be in town till late
me: oh i forgot
me: thanksgiving
me: i will be in houston a week from today
marcus: Yup
me: well, my roommate is leaving on tuesday, and i'm leaving on wednesday
me: but i don't know what time she's leaving
me: but tuesday could work
marcus: Ooh, I could get you shirtless at that rate
me: haha...what?
me: =-O
me: :-D
me: what do you mean?
marcus: Aw, you would
me: psh
marcus: :-)
me: i would what?
me: okay i am not getting that joke. oh welllll
marcus: I'm just saying you'd get shirtless wouldn't you?
me: probably not the first time
me: but i think i might be okay with your fingers wandering up my shirt...
marcus: *probably*there might be a chince then
me: a small one
me: !
me: so are you working tuesday?
marcus: Yes, I get off at 12
me: noon or midnight
marcus: Midnight
me: do you have class or work the next day
marcus: Class in the morning from 10-12
marcus: Then I'm leaving for parents
me: that sounds a bit packed
marcus: You could get a bit packed...
marcus: Giggity
me: ugh
me: that's creepy
me: and no, i won't
marcus: I said could, I won't tho
me: no, you said i could
marcus: Exactly, could, not gonna, or should
me: okay: we won't. i'll just be totally clear (and you already know this) --i'm not ready for sex, and probably won't be for quite a while
me: then we're on the same wavelength
me: this is good
marcus: Which is why ill be happy to fondle your funbags
me: okay :-D
me: hehe
marcus: And you can play around with my whatever you want to call it
me: haha, really?
me: i don't know if i'll want to or not
marcus: Aww
me: aww?
me: i've never been there
me: Laff
me: anyways...
marcus: What will you be wearing?
marcus: Somthing light, hopefully
me: i hadn't thought of that yet
me: i have this white cotton halter dress thing, maybe that
marcus: Spaghetti straps and sleep pants :-)
me: don't realize that the halter dress is built in such a way that i can't wear a bra with it
me: :D
marcus: Zing!
me: Indeed.
marcus: What if one slips out while I'm playing with it?
me: uh oh
me: what if?
marcus: And my mouth slipps on it?
me: oops...
marcus: That'd be terrible!
me: Oh, i KNOW!
marcus: ... Terribly awsome...
marcus: And if my finger slip below your waiste?
me: i don't know...
me: what then?
marcus: Who knows
me: i just got cut off
me: last i saw was "who knows"
marcus: Question is if you'd let me do those things
marcus: Eh?
me: i think my chest is fair game--i'm okay with you going there. as far as underneath my skirt, i don't know yet. maybe i'll just place your hands there if i feel the urge to
me: sound good?
marcus: Okie dokie
marcus: Sounds real good
me: hehe
marcus: Anywhere on me is fair game
me: okay
me: and don't think i'm not into it if i'm not comfortable going everywhere
marcus: Okie
me: the truth is, i've never been into it yeah. there you have it
marcus: well
me: we'll see what happens i guess
me: well?
marcus: Yes
marcus: We will
me: cool
marcus: Why haven't you been into it?
me: i don't know, i just get really nervous
me: i try not to act nervous, but i think i'm locking up or something
marcus: are you nervous around me?
me: not really, but even you said i was tense the other night
me: and i feel like we know each other pretty well by now
marcus: Yeah, I think we do
me: (still, that crying girl walking by didn't help matters at all...)
me: that was disturbing
marcus: I was just thinking about that, I really think that was far too staged to be real
me: but...i'm glad i heard it.
me: it made rape more real or something
marcus: It sounded scripted
me: you think it was staged?
marcus: I think so
me: as in one of those improv groups that goes out doing crazy stuff?
me: she sounded fairly convincing
me: i guess there's no real way to know
marcus: Kinda like those Truth commercials you see on tv
me: hm
me: but without cameras
marcus: Yes
marcus: The idea is to make people feel it really happened, which apparently it did
me: i don't know
me: it her, do you think?
marcus: I really don't know
me: i think if i was a rape victim, i wouldn't really want to be that dramatic about it
marcus: Yes, that's what I'm thinking
me: not in front of the world, and with my words scripted
me: hm
me: well anyways
me: i'm glad i heard it, scripted or not
marcus: I promise I'm not going to rape you
marcus: I may make you cum
marcus: But not rape
me: can people have orgasms just making out?
marcus: No
marcus: I don't think anyway
me: then how would you give me an orgasm?
marcus: If my fingers slipped below
me: ah, okay
me: what will you wear?
marcus: I could bring a change of clothes
marcus: Maybe a tshirt and pajama pants
me: hehe
me: you seem to like pjs
marcus: They're light and comfey
marcus: ... No bra...
marcus: Sounds nice
me: true
marcus: Especially if your nipples get as hard as I hope they do
me: hehe
me: what do you mean by cradling?
me: is that with hand or face?
marcus: Either
marcus: I'd probably like to stick my face between them and squish them against me
me: hehe
marcus: And probably shake my face back and forth
me: hahaha!
marcus: See, that'd be fun for both of us!
me: yeah, i think so
me: i know i would be laughing if you did something like that
marcus: See, breaking the ice
me: that will be key, i feel
me: hm
me: sunday evening?
marcus: Hmmmm
marcus: Perhaps
marcus: Where will the roomate be?
me: she might very well be here
marcus: She can come too:-)
me: and now would be prime (except that i'm gross) because she's at a sleepover
me: hahaaaaaaa
me: she is very conservative
me: then again, i can be too
marcus: Why don't you take a shower and I'll be right over?
me: when it comes to these things
me: i thought about that, but i don't even know if they let guests in this late
marcus: Guest hours end at 2:30
me: how do you know that?
me: i don't even know that
marcus: Jason lives the same dorm you do
me: really?
me: ah
marcus: Yeah
me: today is not a skinny day!
marcus: No day is a skinny day for me
me: i figured you would say something like that
marcus: lolz
me: well
me: if i got you in the door at say 2:15, do you know if they would try to come kick you out 15 mins. later?
marcus: They wouldnt
me: how about that plan?
marcus: Okie doke
me: it would give me a little time to shower, etc.
marcus: Yes
me: wow, this is actually happening, huh?
marcus: Sure
me: just know that i don't really know what i'm doing and i'll be nervous. and you know the boundaries.
marcus: Yes
me: and that i am usually not such a slob
me: hehe
marcus: I'm always a slob so its all good
me: haha
me: well
me: 2:15 where we met before?
marcus: Yes
me: okay
marcus: Yay!
me: yay!
marcus: I'm excited
marcus: How about you?
me: yeah
me: just got out of the shower
marcus: I'm gonna have to park in the garage methinks
me: ugh
me: i think you have to pay for that, right?
marcus: Yeah, but its no biggie
marcus: K, I'm parked
me: okay
me: i may need to meet you at 2:20 or so
marcus: I'm going around to that entrance we met, be there in a few moments
marcus: I'm almost there, tho
marcus: I'm here
marcus: You coming?
me: yes

- saturday, Nov. 18, 2006


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