backyard crowing



i miss marcus. ...i think i miss marcus.

am i becoming redundant? yes, i do believe so. i just watched the notebook so of course i'm feeling cheesy. i don't love him, i never did, and i shouldn't pursue him. i just chatted with him a day or two ago. i don't know how to really chat with him anymore. he doesn't want to make out, and now it seems he doesn't want to chat dirty. he may start a chat, but he doesn't follow up with many words. he's a talkative guy, though, just not in a chat room. ...but then he'll completely take me off guard and write something *really* dirty and i won't know what to think. he makes me sad because i throw myself at him, he doesn't respond well, and i don't want him in the first place. i just want somebody, and he's the nearest target. i can be somewhat comfortable approaching him. and, he's the only guy who might make out with me on a whim. or at least, that was the guy he was for a day in november. arrrgh.

i'm sick of writing about this stupid kid. sometimes i wish i had never met him. everything about him is wrong, even the way we met. he commented on a xanga blog post of mine, and i replied to his most recent post. he then got my IM address off of xanga and started IMing me, which i thought was strange. eventually we decided to meet for coffee, and i was unimpressed with his negativity. he was mostly nice, though--just quite negative.

12:15 am - Friday, Mar. 16, 2007


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