backyard crowing
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it's almost over
maybe i only like marcus because i feel like there's nothing better to do, or i don't want to do my homework.
heh, wouldn't that be something?
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"Why are our days numbered, and not, say, lettered?"
-Woody Allen
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred."
-Woody Allen
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I really want to put a sign somewhere that says:
"Necrophilia! It's natural!"
In our community bathroom, but everyone would know it was me.
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she's back again, and this time at 4:17 am. i'm okay with that, because i'm always awake.
what if i move away and nothing gets better?
i'm not talking about my roommate anymore.
i mean what if when i finally make it to new york, i'm still...screwed up inside? are those the words for it?
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ok, and now the roommie has come back with her friends. goody. they're packing, at least. that means she is out of my life...and soon! and at least her friends are cool. they're talking about sex, an issue which was always untouchable until this year when i met abby and denise and kelly and a few others...i don't know if i'm older, or people think i'm less innocent, or what...but i feel much more educated on these things this year.
and the two things i want for my birthday are explicit! (vibe and tat!)
I'll tell dad i want the dvd of annie hall and playwriting software for june...those sound almost equally awesome, if i'm truly honest with myself!
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mmmkay...
i wish i didn't like him. i don't even know if i like him. dang...so this is what comes of casual makeouts?
casual makeouts?
some people would laugh at me like i was crazy upon reading this. sex is so commercialized, so 'regular,' so fundamental it seems to everyday life for everyone above a certain age.
i wonder if i'll have sex as a 21-year-old? i almost can't believe i'm on the verge of my last important birthday. i'm happy, though...it's about time. i'm really hoping my mother doesn't freak out. DON'T FREAK OUT. DON'T. MOM. GRRRRR...
i'm hostile, and i haven't even met up with her yet. give me a few hours, and she'll be yelling again. we're not good for each other.
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i can't wait until the roommie leaves. i hope it's tonight, and it might just be! she's packing even as i type, and with buddies.
OMG! she's leaving at 6 am, she just said to her friends. that's in only an hour. i will probably never see her again. starting in an hour!!!!!!
i wonder if she'll say goodbye? i doubt it. i hope not. for once in my life i could care less if the sun *rose* upon an argument. i haven't spoken to her in a few days now, and there's no reason to start.
i wonder if someday i will look back on my words and feel like shit?
ah, well! i'll leave it to future me to sort that out.
5:10 am - Sunday, May. 13, 2007
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