backyard crowing


does twice burned mean four times as shy? i hope so, in some cases...

I'm beginning to think that my life can be much like my love life. I get burned by a boy, I get burned by the sun, and they are both my fault. Masochistic? Yes. Normal? I'm changing that part.

Today a lady came into my sandwich shop and told me that I was pretty, smart, that I looked very young, and that I was going to get out of there. She gave me a tip (almost unheard of at my sandwich shop, especially on the first day), and told me she would call the corporate headquarters to tell them that I was doing a good job.

Her name was Jane, and she was just a tad more softspoken than I am, if that's possible. Sometimes I'm fairly sure I'm meeting angels.

The part about "getting out of here" really struck me as a vote of confidence, and it reminded me of Marcus, who essentially dumped me last night. Or rather, I finally admitted to him that I had feelings for him, and he texted back, "I'm not exactly sure where my feelings are for anyone lately." So for a girl like me who now requires her men to step up and make the first move/treat her with respect and not as a makeout buddy, a reformed woman, I can see clearly what he means. He's trying to let me down easy, and that's okay. That's polite.

However, I'm not talking to him anymore. (This time it's for good,'s not. But he needs to be calling me to ask me out if he ever calls me again. For no other reason should I be talking to that kid.)

And yes, he is blocked on AIM.

But what was I getting at with this entry, anyway?

Just like I am confident that I will get out of Subway, I am also confident (and deserving of) a true love, and not a makeout session every few months. I am better than that and I know it. I knew it then, too, but now that I have felt the sting, I can fully see the spider. I am understanding why people put sunblock on, and why emotionally healthy people tend to not advocate "friends with benefits." The benefits I have endured with my "friend" have been extremely painful, but I have learned, and I am living, so I simply know how to operate better now. I am stronger for this, I am healing, and hey, it's another something to write about. :)

8:08 pm - Tuesday, Jun. 12, 2007


lovesounds - futuresex


about me