backyard crowing



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oh, the blahness of houston. it is so apparent...

I miss school.

I miss school, I miss boys, I miss Abby. I miss Austin.

I miss my life.

I miss hills, dry weather, and my neighbors. I miss the freedom of not having parents.

I miss my own room. I miss my own choices. I miss being able to think my thoughts without people stepping all over them. I miss the reasonableness and logic that comes from the mouths of my professors.

I miss studying, sometimes.

I miss learning new words, and then using them. I miss feeling smart.

I miss feeling necessary.

I miss feeling like I’m more than just a sandwich maker.

I miss sleep, and I miss not sleeping.

I miss the college kind of stress. I miss my social life.

I have zero social life in Houston. I don’t want to see my old friends, I want to make new ones. But new ones take a heaping load of effort, and they’ll only be ripped away from me when I leave again. I would still be happy to make them, though.

I believe it is “better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” as the saying goes.

Houston is not a friendly place for me. It feels desolate.

5:18 am - sunday, Jul. 15, 2007
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