backyard crowing
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DORCS
10:28 pm - Thursday, Oct. 11, 2007
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You've Got Mail! From a Sketchy Romantic!
Questions to self:
Why am I so obsessed with love? Why do I care so much, anyway? UGH. When did I become such a romantic?
just to give you an update, i'm very into a frat boy (eek!) named jeremy, and tonight i wrote a poem about him, which i slipped underneath his door. usually i'm not so forward, but since i might never see him again (and he might not even remember me), i figured, what the hell? i'm going to give him a poem. it should flatter him, if all goes well, and not frighten. i think lately i've been chasing guys just because i'm bored. i want someone to stir me up.
i found out tonight that "jeremy" has a real name--john. i memorized where he lived last night. i hope he got the poem, and that nobody threw it away. if his roommate was home and he was out, i would think the roommie would give the poem to him. i don't care if anyone else reads it. a small part of me hopes he stops by my room to say hello, even though it couldn't really lead to anything.
worst case scenario:
he thinks it's an awful poem, and shows it to his frat buddies, who in turn make fun of it.
good scenario:
he reads the poem and is flattered. he may or may not come say 'hi.'
surprising scenario:
we start dating and marry!
naaaah! frat boys are dumb. this one is just particularly charming...so i guess that makes him poetry-worthy to me.
the title of the poem is "...despite his transgressions."
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...despite his transgressions
last night
in an attempt to entertain ourselves
a drunk friend of mine plus a tipsy-toed me
strolled on the sidewalk
just waiting for men to come creeping along
with their vomit-filled song
and their pride growing strong
last night--to be free!
we balanced them out;
we helped their limp hop
as we slunk down the walk
the blondie for her,
the curly for i,
i'm thinking just now of this boy
eye-to-eye
in his sheets
we did stay
in his arms
we did play
and the blithering, maddening, monotone day
that just passed me by?
i can't say why i sigh.
is it love? is it lust? or a comfortable chest?
all i know
is today
i regret
having strayed
your welcoming skin;
those eyes taking mine in
though shy smiles covered our far between stares
i remember
last night
i am daring
to share
aside:
by no means is "it" love, but the phrase is more dramatic that way!
-janeane
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and this, from october 3, but i never posted it on time:
playing: Sister Jack, by Spoon
well, turns out marc had never forgotten my Deviant Art screenname...and so he saw an entry that spoke of him briefly. Fortunately, I didn't embarrass myself too much.
We made out and took a bath on Sunday night at his house. I'm still shocked. I mean, what?
While we laid on his bed, he gave me a hard time with his fingers, and I believe I got closer to orgasm than I've ever been before...but then I didn't want to follow through with it, or give in. I discovered it is like being tickled unrelentingly, and I am not a quiet girl at all, in bed.
I know, I know, TMI, but I am actually going somewhere with this.
After his first attempt to make me come, I asked him to stop, and even said 'safe word!' through the gasps, but he did not cease until I tried to pry his hand away--and even then he was insistent.
I think I know now why some women never orgasm. they're scared shitless of what will happen if they do.
1:00 am - Sunday, Sept. 30, 2007
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a threesome and shuffleboard
Hey, folks!
Yours truly embarked on the closest she will ever be to a threesome last night.
Yes, ladies and gentleman, I participated in a three-cuddle-some, and it wasn't entirely innocent, because...I let him touch my boobs unclothed. Oddly enough, I don't feel bad about the event, and I could not have been with a better gal pal. the guy was extremely questionable, but i still have a thing for him.
We (Abbie and I) "sandwiched" a guy named Jeremy, who thought my name was Janeane, because...I told him so. He was very drunk and barfing because of beer pong at his future frat's party. oi, i don't understand these greek weirdos at all!
Yesterday was my belated birthday party with Abbie, and it was unforgettable, that's for sure! I believe I'm enjoying the way that I'm living. It's not so bad at all. I need to start doing homework sometime soon, though.
So, back to last night...initially we went to a bar called Hole ITW and Abbie got drunk off four or five sour apple martinis. I got tipsy off three, and I'm glad I pushed my limit (1), because otherwise I wouldn't have had such fun. We both ate ceasar salads, which was probably a bad idea, because how much alcohol can salad possibly absorb?
And then came gifts! Woah. I'm going to make a list, despite the self-centeredness and masterialistic crap it implies. My theory is still "someday when I'm 80 and can't remember, this will totally make my day." So, the gifts in their order (which she was very picky about, so like Abbie!):
-A card featuring Frederick Douglass on the cover! She wrote on the inside:
"thanks for being such a great friend. You are an amazing person. I hope we can be in each other's lives forever. I know you will go far in life. Keep doing what you are doing, YOU GO GIRL! Your Friend Always, Abbie."
-Adorable rubber multi-colored bracelets, the kind she wore when she was young - and also a little black and purple cuff that says "Best Friends"!
-Really cute decorative boxes that she collected when she was young
-A piece of paper shaped like a camera with a hole in it--the whole held a mini kaleidascope (she made sure to give me this after I had finished my first martini!)
-A round slicer and clips for my fisheye lens pictures! Awesome!
She made me feel so special! Ah! And to boot, my dad gave me his belated birthday present yesterday. It is a digital tape recorder for my podcasting and journalistic exploits! Hooray!
Tonight, the plan is to meet up with Tony and one of his friends named Evan, and no Michael. That's quite alright--I don't like Michael anyway! And the funny thing is--when we first met the two guys, Abbie PUT HER HAND on Michael's shoulder and said to the guys that she wanted to be on Michael's shuffleboard team. That obviously flirtatious incident was lost on me because of a little tipsiness, so I forgot, and went where the boys put us. At first sight, I thought Michael was cuter...but he was too cute. And a law major, at that! ...and he bikes "like FIFTY MILES A DAY!" according to Abbie, who told me this a couple of hours ago over the phone...amazing, that phone call was an hour and fifteen minutes long, and after several hours last night of hanging out (and probably several tonight), we still can't seem to get enough of each other. And I mean that in a very non-gay way, but I do wish I could be bi or lesbian, so that we might date or even marry. but that's another story.
I hope I'm not the pretty girl's ugly friend...but even if I am, I don't really care. I always have an awesome time with Abbie.
I also hope the bar boys rescue us from studying tonight, and invite us out like they said they would. And I hope it's not just Tony asking Abbie out--she told him SPECIFICALLY to bring a "hot guy" for me. whoa. thank you, my friend! but really, i'm learning hotness isn't it. the lawyer was your typical hot guy...but i wasn't digging him, because he was shy. the shy ones make me do all the work...
but abbie liked the lawyer! She's got her incredible, outgoing, exuberant self, and doesn't want a popular boy, or a life of the party, so she prefers the strong silent types. (Oh yeah, and the brooding punks, which i can definitely relate to.)
To round it all up, you'll never believe who was at the bar that very night. patch, yes, PATCH MY EX sat only two rooms away from midnight till 2 am to hear the band and drink...by himself. he text messaged me a couple of times that night, but i didn't reply. strange, that when abbie and i were in the parking lot, and she was throwing up, that he was only a few feet away when he sent me one of those text messages.
note to self: I've come to the conclusion that when you text message someone, and can't wait to get their reply--that's love.
Oh, and by the way--
the first time I told Abbie I loved her was on her birthday last April. The first time Abbie told me she loved me was yesterday, during my belated birthday celebration. :)
(Neither of us are people who say 'I love yous,' to friends, so that says a lot about our bond.)
- saturday, Sept. 29, 2007
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