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i adore thee. you are the apple of mine eye. shall we dance?

i must face the unfortunate truth that i am likely to see victor this weekend, and during this time i may still have a cold. aie...going on dates suddenly makes not having the sniffles uber important. i don't always take something for my ailments if they're minor. dating makes minor mean major.

"To the victor go the spoils!"

you know, i'm saddened that i can't find anyone who goes to my school and is on diaryland, but at the same time, i feel i'm holding up the fort. longhorns, i am HERE for you on diaryland, the "other" blogging site. or white meat. or something. :)


i guess i should give you an update. sooooo...who is victor? who is glen? who is keith?

- victor - hottie who i haven't met yet. works for a paper and lives an hour away. hopefully i'll meet him this weekend, and hopefully without a stuffed up nose. he doesn't believe in God and watches porn. he's 23. he works nights, and has sundays and mondays off.

- glen - he only lives 30 min. away, but he's depressed. at least he's nice. he's quite shy, and he doesn't always look me in the eye. he doesn't believe in God, either. he's 26, unemployed, and living with his parents. but that's okay, i doubt it will work out in a romantic way with him. he seems like a cool person just to chill with. i thought i wanted him to make a move...but now i'm not so sure. after all, i'm an optimist. we have a large potential to annoy the hell out of each other. plus, he's not creative. or at least that's what he claims, and then i tell him everyone is creative, read "the artist's way!" anywho, he's quite mathematical.

- keith - he's a math and video gamer nerd who lives one mile away. he can't tell me where he works for some reason, all he will say is that it is a 24-hour customer service job, and he works nights, with mondays and tuesdays off. i MUST keep track of these key details! he seems nice enough, but i really wish i hadn't agreed to go out with him, because three men is way too many to juggle. i think he's 23, but i don't feel like looking it up just now.

i'm trying to be available to some on the weekend, and some during the week...but honestly, i don't have time for three men...i probably don't have time even for one, but i'm digging victor pretty ferociously. we had phone sex at 3 am three days ago. he didn't text/IM/call me after that, so tonight i texted a hello, and he responded. he was making jambalaya. i'm hoping that phone sex won't make him think i'm a whore, or some chick who just wants to be wrestled. he's funny, i like him, and i think we could be a thing, despite the Atheism. i don't understand guys. why didn't he contact me in some way after that night?

a lady on the UT helpline told me once--and i never forgot this--that when something happens in a relationship (any sort, friendship or otherwise) to change the nature of the relationship, people do strange things. if you become closer with someone, or you share secrets, or you let your guard down, or you have sex--if you do these things, you and that person may go through an adjustment period, which can include backing off a bit.

i just don't want to confuse that with a clear message that he is no longer interested.

then again, simply not communicating for three days after phone sex is not exactly a clear message. not communicating for a week, however, is a different story (we talk/chat at least once every couple of days.) so perhaps i should have waited a week and seen what would happen. but i'm impatient. i like the boy. i thought about him intermittently the day after the phone friskiness.

well, that's all she wrote. i'm tired and i just took a three hour nap. what's that about? aie.

i should have gone to the library with sara to study, she would have kept me from zonking out and encouraged me to buckle down. sara rocks, she really does! i'm hoping someday she and abbie will meet, but somehow i get the feeling abbie doesn't want that...i wonder why?

they're both psych majors...abbie asked me how old she was once, and i told her 19. why should age matter? i don't know...i have a feeling sara gets a LOT of flack for being engaged at her age. what people fail to realize is that she is extremely mature for a 19-year-old. her mother died when she was 12, and she had to grow up incredibly quickly...her dad wasn't much help. before her mother's death, her parents were divorced, and her mother took care of them the majority of the time.

living with her dad meant doing things like taking the car to get it fixed, and dragging dad to appointments to have him present to sign something. i get the feeling it was just...really, really tough. and she didn't tell me about the death until a year after i had met her. so it's personal to her. i'm glad she felt she could tell me all that, and i must admit, it does make me see her in a different, more mature light. heck, she's probably more mature than i am. she's funding her college education fully, AND helping her twin get through her college years, because she didn't get as much financial aid.

i hope the best for her family...they are such nice people. except her brother, that one time at that party when he claimed sara's engagement was "fake." that was a year ago. take a chill pill dude, they're for real! and anyway, the bro is married. he married fairly young, too. i wonder if anyone ever called HIS engagement or marriage fake.

12:43 am - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008


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