backyard crowing


rough patch...heh

If you thought I could have no romantic problems over a spring break spent at my ghost town of a university, think again.

I kissed Patch (read: ex-boyfriend).

So the story goes:

He called me up on thursday to see if I might want to go to a bar with him. I said maybe, and he said he'd call me later if he decided to go.


He calls me, and I accept the invitation. Quickly after this call, I call him and clarify (or so I thought) that this is infact a platonic outing. I hear his razor buzzing in the background. He agrees that it's platonic, and afterward I put on makeup--but a lot less than I do if I know I'm going to see Matt. I pick my best jeans, but I wear a t-shirt that's not form-fitting. I decide I want to look somewhat nice, because after all we'll be in a bar, and who knows who I could meet? Probably no one considering I'll already be talking to a guy, but you never know. Well, actually you do, if you're into Matt. And trust me, you're into Matt.


We go to the bar, and thanks to gracious Nature's call, I unintentionally come up with a strategy.


When going to a bar with a friend of the opposite sex, always go to the bathroom as soon as you walk through the front door. Make sure you don't let your friend have time ask you what you'd like to drink. Then while he's ordering his poison, you're peeing, and you can get your drink later--on separate tab. Voila! It's not a date.


We have a fun time at the bar. He has two beers, and I have two glasses of the white zinfandel (delicious, by the way.) During the conversation I learn that he went on a date with Sam, a girl I met while on my two-week stint at the university comedy paper. Now Sam is a complete badass with an awesome sense of style, and I like her a lot even though I rarely see her. He started to tell me of their date, but I was super weirded out by the whole situation (I will never and have never told him about my exploits since my month with him), so I told him he didn't have to tell me. Later I would reflect on this and decide this weirded-outness would make me look like I was into him.


He invites me to watch "Me, Myself, and Irene" at his place and since I'm avoiding my homework like the plague, I accept the offer. He mentions he has more booze at his place, including Tito's, the Austin vodka. And if you know me, you know I love Austin...and vodka. So Tito's and Ocean Spray it was.

During the movie:

He rests his head on my shoulder, and I let him because I'm lonely...and hey, it had been eight days since I had heard from Matt. Later it would come to be TWELVE days, but anyway... (Just to clarify, I'm not in a relationship with Matt...yet. We've been on one date.)

So his head's on your shoulder? Hmmm...

Well, yeah. He started to kiss me every once in a while, and at one point his roommate (a different, more reasonable dude than the last one) came back from spring break. Patch says something implying he's surprised and a little unhappy that the guy is back, but I'm glad we're suddenly not alone. While kissing him I keep thinking about what he might have in terms of STDs, and how crazy it would be if I got HPV and then gave it to Matt. What a sick and twisted world! How evil would that be of Patch?

So anyway, I stopped kissing him at one point, he invited me to stay the night, I declined, and he walked me to the door. Then I told him I didn't want to rehash the past, and he said we were different now, and I didn't correct him, but he's incorrect.

Why I broke up with him:

-he was too eager for sex, pressured me
-he was a bad kisser
-he didn't listen--I know he has ADD, but it was ridiculous
-he was too interested in video games, would get caught up in them and want me to just watch him play "for fun"
-he wasn't independent
-he was the jealous type
-he always wanted to know where i was
-he didn't understand why he wasn't first in my life, why school was my #1 and he was maybe #3 or #4
-he tried to see me EVERY DAY. UGH.
-he didn't get that i need solitude
-he was too clingy

Only 1 out of 11 of these items still apply. According to him, he's not as interested in sex anymore because a psychologist or psychology major (can't remember which) told him that he got too attached to women when he had sex, and that he should wait six months for sex. However, he's a guy, and therefore probably quite willing to ignore the psychologist's advice.

On a completely DIFFERENT note, Adam (the postsecret one, not my first boyfriend) texted me the other day saying he had a dream about me. He was working in a pawn shop and I walked in to sell some DVDs. I was really nice to him, and so he felt bad. Interesting. I'm glad we didn't let the sun set on an argument. I have a mind to call that boy.

3:30 am - sunday, Mar. 16, 2008


lovesounds - futuresex


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