backyard crowing


the abbster and i partay


Abbie and I went to 6th street last night and had an absolute ball!

PURE was the "rich" bar. We stuck to ourselves, and I thought the $9 margarita rocked, but she wasn't a fan. End of story there.

The next bar had those little test tube shots we'd always wanted to try--we both had Red Snappers, but there were also Buttery Nipples and something else.

Then came Lattitude, but not without the help of a cute Asian guy--what was his name? I think Abbie got his number, or vice versa. Anyway, he convinced us to walk on over to his bar and got us a couple of free drinks, and a couple of guys who got us free drinks again. There was a hispanic dude and a white dude, and interestingly we started with our own colors. Then we switched--she migrated to the whitey and I to the hispanic. My theory here is that at the beginning of any social event, we try to stick with who we know, what we know. Then we figure out that fucking someone with more unique genes is worth the risk of social ineptitude!

Then Abbie pulled at her necklace: classic chick signal saying, "Let's get out of here." So we did! Thanks for the free drinks, boys!

And they weren't just boys, they were ARMY boys, which meant Abbie could start proving her point--that Charlie, the navy dude who dumped her last weekend, was SO over, and she could get a guy just like him in ten minutes. Unfortunately this army boy was saying he wanted her and wanted to take her home, a journey that no intelligent girl with even most of her wits about her would embark on.

Then we went to the Library, where she met another army guy (this time MUCH cuter), and he bought us all long island iced teas. As we were waiting for the drinks to come out, I tapped her on the shoulder to let her know I was about to go mingle. I went to the bathroom and checked out the guys along the way, but was too shy to talk to any of them. On the way back, my courage returned, and I took a seat next to a girl watching a hockey game. Abbie had told me earlier, "just make eye contact--that's all you have to do." A couple of minutes later, a blonde guy named Matt (go figure) walked up and asked me if I was driving. I thought he asked if I was a writer, so I said yes, and soon we were talking about our ages and Woodstock, which his parents attended because they're AWESOME. Anyway, he said he was born in 77, which would make him 31, but then Abbie said his friends said he was 28. Man, I love the older and younger guys, they just keep life interesting. 31 is a bit much, but hey, the cat was cute and hitting on me. I was soaking up his charm, even a little charm that wasn't there.

Some background info: Matt's a blonde dude who works for the TX Lotto. He wants to earn moolah first, then do something he wants to do career-wise. Sort of the opposite of me. People like him would love to have opportunities like mine, opportunities like college.

He asked for my number. :) I gave it to him, and he invited Abbie and I to his place for eight beers with his three friends. He was concerned this wouldn't be enough, but come on...we were prancing around 6th, so we'd had a few.

Anywho, Abbie was on guy 2 of 3 who were both in the army and named Mike that night, and he had invited her to his place as well, but it was her birthday and we sure as hell weren't splitting up to go to random strangers' houses. Feeling frisky, she decided we would continue to float around 6th street getting hit on, but I lost her while she talked with Mike #2. I was freaking because she had no cell phone and no money, so I just stayed in front of the last bar (the Library) until she came back. Turns out she was only a few steps away the whole time, she was just hangin' with a Mike. Matt had seen me outside the bar alone with a worried look on my face, so he offered to help me look. I asked him if he thought I was being neurotic at one point, and he said yes and offered me a cigarette. I said I didn't smoke, but I wanted to try one, and he confusedly gave me a light. I wasn't sure how the whole process worked--he lit one and handed it to me, rather than lighting one in my mouth. Very confusing, this whole smoking thing is...

Anyway, I think Abbie was disappointed to see me with a cig in my mouth with some dude, but come on. One not-even-half a cigarette is not going to make me addicted. Nicotine just isn't strong enough. I don't feel guilty, even though I know my parents wouldn't be proud. Like Nat and Billy Joel and Bon Jovi say, "It's My Life."

Later that night, a guy named Alex took her hand on the street and they started making out. Her back was turned, so it was not until later that I found out he had pulled her hair, her skirt up (she only had a thong underneath), and was grabbing her breasts fairly obviously. Flash photography! Voila, Abbie! Anyway, I'm glad I didn't see all that b/c if I had, I probably would have been up in her grill and asking her if she was okay. He did just come up and start groping her, after all. But thankfully she was enjoying it.

Alex's buddy Joey said to me, "I can't do that," in reference to his forwardness. I replied, "Maybe you just need an outgoing girl," and he said, "Yeah, maybe," in a tone so longing that later Abbie told me I should have started kissing him right then. OH, well. I missed the cutoff, and I had no idea. He didn't like me anyway, because after a brief conversation with me he started talking to their third friend, and I moved closer so as to not look foolish whilst standing around as Abbie had her way with Alex--not because I liked him so much, but because I was standing there, alone, watching my friend and the street, my friend and the street, my friend and the street. That starts to look creepy after awhile.

After a few minutes their fondling, we were on to the next one. "Who's next?" Abbie asked at one point, which Matt later repeated exasperatedly. I patted him on the back at that. He called me about 30 min. after he left us. He said he was in S. Austin heading to N. Austin and that he'd be near 6th street if we needed a ride. Unfortunately at 4 am Abbie still didn't want to go, and by that point the only people left were hobos and drunks...and Mike #3 and the recruiter from Lattitude who stopped by.

Matt hasn't called again, and I can't call him back because it's a private number. All four of Abbie's numbers rang her back, which is awesome, but I'm pretty pissed that she said, "He called you! He called you back! I can't BELIEVE it!!!"

Whatever, bitch. I'm not a complete loser, damnit! Sometimes she really annoys the fuck out of me, but it was her birthday and she was one week post-breakup, so I cut her some slack. At one point we were sitting outside a bar and an employee was leaving. We had some brief conversation with him, and I said, "Do you work at this bar?" Of course I knew he did, I was just trying to continue the chatting. To this Abbie said, "You can tell by the shirt," which was too far away for either of us to make out. Ugh. She is so annoying sometimes. I must remember that sometimes she just wants to be the center of attention, no matter what. She does talk forever, and I wish she would freaking suck it up and go see a psychologist. These things are mean to write, but hey, I need therapy, too, and writing is partially that to me.

She kept not wanting to go home, but once she agreed that we'd take a cab and a cab rolled right past, I thought, "if I don't hail this cab now, I'm never getting home." So I hailed it. Unfortunately the dude was a total asshole, like a lot of cab drivers, and before we left he said, "I'm going to turn around to I can check you out one last time before you leave." I didn't laugh at this, and Abbie did, and then he knew I was mad. He tried to get me to look at him, but I wouldn't. I just wanted to kick his fucking face in, the perverted freak of nature. He kept asking shit like "What's wrong?" Idiot. After we got out, Abbie said she could feel the tension thickening like crazy. I think I made her uncomfortable, but I can't not be who I am, and hey, she made me pretty uncomfortable more than a few times that night, so I think I'm justified.


Drinks I had:
-margarita - $9 at Pure
-test tube shot - $2 at some other bar
-margarita - free with the help of a partier recruiter at Lattitude
-part of some brown drink - free from two guys who danced with us
-a small amount of a long island iced tea - free from a guy who started hitting on Abbie

Altogether, I had about 3.5 drinks, but they were quite spaced out, so even though I drank a lot I never felt a strong pang of drunkenness. Abbie had about the same amount that I did, minus two drinks...unfortunately she still threw up, because she used to regularly drink 4-packs of Red Bull for she can't drink much alcohol or energy drinks at all. I worry about that girl sometimes, I had no idea she had this problem, it was so secret.

All in all, it was a fun night. Afterward we chatted for a couple of hours as usual, just replaying the night's events in our heads and focusing on the ups and downs, the wonderings of what this or that guy might have been thinking...we're sadly boycrazy.

- saturday, Apr. 19, 2008


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