backyard crowing


marcus dream and deletion

I had a dream last night that Marcus had come over to my place, which was instead of dad's apartment my apartment. He came with my friend Lauren R., who was just going to wait outside while we got busy for some reason. Oddly I didn't mind that she'd be in the hallway outside my front door.

Anyway, I crawled into bed and I can remember thinking, "I really want to have sex with him." (I'm a virgin.) Then I reached down to touch him, and he said he didn't want me touching him there, but anywhere else was fine. I asked, "Are you ashamed for going that far?" He said yes. Then I asked, "Are you ashamed for going so far as to touch me?" He said yes. Then I think we exchanged some other, less important words, and he left.

I wonder where he is. I wish I had a friend to go bowling with me today, just so I could see if he still works at the alley.

I finally deleted him (and Matt!) out of my cellphone a few weeks ago. I kept trying to tell Abbie, but she kept talking and I forgot to tell her. She'd be impressed! But anyway, we typically go about deleting people in different ways. She deletes because she doesn't want to be tempted to call a guy, I don't delete so that when they call me and I don't want to answer or call them back, I'll know just who's calling. Now I won't know if Marcus or Matt is calling me, because I won't recognize the number. Then I'll probably not pick up, or if I do, I'll ask "Who's this?" in a totally innocent tone, and I'll explain that they're not in my phone...or maybe even that they're not in my phone anymore, if I'm really feeling vengeful. Or they'll have to leave a message! SO SCARY! I hate that people don't leave voicemails anymore, it drives me crazy.

And text messages! Gah! Kill me now!

ZOMG! It's Michael the redhead's 22nd birthday! My first crush, in third grade... :)

He was an asshole, but that's another story. One that I've already told this journal, in fact.

- friday, may 30, 2008


lovesounds - futuresex


about me