backyard crowing


things to do besides kill yourself

my psychologist suggested at my first appointment with her that I make a list of things that soothe me, so that whenever i feel depressed, i can do those things. then a second level of this (if life gets really tough to live) is calling her, my parents, friends, or anyone in my support system. then they'll talk me out of suicide. :)

and now, what i'm calling the "rise above" list...

1. breathe deeply, close your eyes

2. go swimming or take a bath with music

3. write

4. watch a movie

5. take a walk

6. sit under a tree

7. go to kerbey lane to eat and write

8. watch SATC

9. drink some cold water

10. wash/rinse your face off with
cold water

11. listen to happy black artists like stevie wonder, the song "blackbird," and "change is gonna come" (addendum: "have a day" by the polyphonic spree was particularly effective, i had a really good cry with that one--jamiroquai's "dance" does me in as well, which is wholly unexpected)

12. sing

13. eat/drink something with mint in it

14. write a letter to God

15. research NYC? or maybe just dream about NYC...

16. hug a pillow

17. watch the "everyday bravery" video on youtube

18. watch

19. play a little Sims

20. get dolled up

21. watch "Imaginary Heroes"

i wrote this in a starbucks right after my first meeting with the psychologist, and as i got about halfway down the list, i began to precede each item with the phrase, "i could kill myself, or..."

suddenly all of the other options sounded much, much better. and more trivial. instantly, suicide sounded so final, so serious, so hard-edged and not me. because i don't take myself that seriously, not when i'm sane.

- wednesday, June 18, 2008


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