backyard crowing



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painting on the edge

well, i had another epic dream last night. It was as follows:

My friend Leslee and I had gone to UT to check out the two new pools being installed in the aquatic center. (There are not actually any pools coming in, but whatever.) Then we saw a shop in an indoor area at the top of many stairs. The shop was about 3 stories high, with no safety bars to keep a person from falling off. The width of the shop was about 3 feet off of the wall, and the owner sold paintings, so they were a bit hard to see unless you looked at them very closely, or from the ground. The guy also made large wooden boxes, which was what Leslie had custom ordered from him.

He was about thirty, and completely adorable. I can't remember what he looked like, just that I was highly attracted to him. We kept making eyes as Leslie talked to him. The reason for her order: she wanted a box to slide up and down the three stories in which she could sit. The only way to get to his shop was via stairs OR a flat escalator that had no stairs protruding from it. For some reason, she wanted to get up and down on this box that he had made. While she went down the escalator and tested it, I approached the owner.

I can't remember exactly what we said to each other, but we made out like rabbits (do rabbits make out?), and when I started to express fear about the possible 3-story fall, he just shushed me and pulled me tighter to him. I remember grabbing two slats on the wall behind his head to make sure we didn't fall.

Then Leslie had made it to the bottom, and back up, so we stopped in time for her to not know what was going on. She purchased the box, and when we went downstairs, I politely excused myself; our outing was over.

But I had said goodbye and winked at the owner, so he thought I was really leaving. I went up the escalator (it had a landing which was hidden by walls, that wasn't part of his shop), and then just sat on the landing for awhile. I was sort of spying on the guy, but then I also just wanted to be close to him. I don't know if he knew I was there or not, but after an hour or so he opened the door to the landing and saw me.

I was shocked, but glad to see him again, and he seemed happy, too. He said he wanted to make me a painting, and I immediately said, "You know, I didn't make out with you to get a painting, that's not why I did that." He said he knew, and that he just wanted to give me a painting. He wanted to know what colors and subjects I liked. His works usually ran around $300 apiece, so I was quite flattered. The way he looked at me was so sweet and sincere.

He was an older guy, but not that much older, and he wanted to give me a painting. And kisses.

Sigh!

I seem to have lots of dreams about "living on the edge," whether that be a trapeze/tightrope, the top of a ship's sail, a rickety fold-out bus, or an insane shop.

I guess I feel like I have to be perfect, do everything just right, so that my whole world doesn't fall apart, and I don't crash to the ground.

- sunday, july 27, 2008
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