backyard crowing


angry dream

I had a dream last night that I can't remember. All that's left is a massive argument we had. I think it had something to do with the fact that he's supporting me in all of these various ways, and I'm letting myself down, and why don't I just go get a screwy job at a website?

Which is completely OFF, since that's maybe the sort of job I might WANT, as a Multimedia Journalism major!

But the fight was massive. I think he found something I had written about him and freaked out for some reason. I can remember sitting next to those old treasure chests I used to have as a kid, the ones that held my most prized objects: my marbles. Only this time it was something different inside, something I couldn't share with him--my writing, I believe.

I started working at the website directly after the fight, but I remember feeling very nervous, and even though he was sleeping in an adjacent room while this happened, I felt like he was about to come out and yell again, so I couldn't concentrate on work. But I wanted badly to succeed at the work. It was very stressful...

So when he woke me up this morning so that we could take his car to the shop and I could drive him back, of course I didn't drive so well. I don't drive so well when my parents are in the car with me anyway, but when I've had an absolute nightmare about them the night before the driving, the stress is worse.

I was groggy. Sorry I couldn't tell right from left, asshole.

- friday, aug. 1, 2008


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