backyard crowing
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seeing pink marcus dream
I had another dream about marcus last night. this time he was outside his apartment complex in a pink shirt and he wanted to go into a room with a large window in it and make out. it was a room meant for the whole complex, i'm guessing a sort of rec room. he tried to get me to make out with him, and i sort of started to, but then i wanted him to stop, and he was very insistent. there were people outside looking in, and they looked worried. i think i got us out of there, if i remember correctly.
then i woke up.
according to an online dream dictionary, seeing pink means:
"Associated with tenderness and love. You can expect interesting developments in relations with opposite sex."
well, i already knew that. I'm seeing the second love of my life tommorow for the first time in about a year. So yeah, it'll be interesting.
and as for a window appearing in my dream, that means:
"Opening. Opportunity. Feelings of being watched. Need for privacy."
and as for "kissing" in the dictionary ("making out" wasn't listed):
"Affection. Joy. Coming success. Wish to be close to someone."
That makes sense. Except for the coming success part, since I can't really read the future.
I've come to the conclusion that since our non-relationship started, we don't go out in public much. And I get hurt. In this dream, we're out in public, like we will be tommorow, and I don't know if I'll get hurt. This time I'll have my pride to lose--or gain. But they're only strangers, after all.
But I have a memory, and a life, and I want to do it justice.
An old sentiment I wrote on a postcard and accidentally showed to my friend Ray:
"I want to get over sex,
and him,
and now."
- thursday, august 7, 2008
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