backyard crowing


seeing pink marcus dream

I had another dream about marcus last night. this time he was outside his apartment complex in a pink shirt and he wanted to go into a room with a large window in it and make out. it was a room meant for the whole complex, i'm guessing a sort of rec room. he tried to get me to make out with him, and i sort of started to, but then i wanted him to stop, and he was very insistent. there were people outside looking in, and they looked worried. i think i got us out of there, if i remember correctly.

then i woke up.

according to an online dream dictionary, seeing pink means:

"Associated with tenderness and love. You can expect interesting developments in relations with opposite sex."

well, i already knew that. I'm seeing the second love of my life tommorow for the first time in about a year. So yeah, it'll be interesting.

and as for a window appearing in my dream, that means:

"Opening. Opportunity. Feelings of being watched. Need for privacy."

and as for "kissing" in the dictionary ("making out" wasn't listed):

"Affection. Joy. Coming success. Wish to be close to someone."

That makes sense. Except for the coming success part, since I can't really read the future.

I've come to the conclusion that since our non-relationship started, we don't go out in public much. And I get hurt. In this dream, we're out in public, like we will be tommorow, and I don't know if I'll get hurt. This time I'll have my pride to lose--or gain. But they're only strangers, after all.

But I have a memory, and a life, and I want to do it justice.

An old sentiment I wrote on a postcard and accidentally showed to my friend Ray:

"I want to get over sex,

and him,

and now."

- thursday, august 7, 2008


lovesounds - futuresex


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