backyard crowing


jim, demander of sex

i think that even in us strong ones, the tough women, there lies some lonely people. i'm listening to "promiscuous girl" and thinking of the most promiscuous girl i ever knew, my old roommate tanya. she hated that song, maybe because she hated herself.

jim is very tempting. i know he's all about sex but in slow times like these, and fast times like abbie's, the combination puts me in a tizzy. i'm hugging my pillow again and imagining it's one of these past men.

same with patch, he looks good when nothing else is there.

it's crazy, years later and i still think of marcus. the other night i was outside i heart video, walking back to my car. a guy in the back of a truck looked a lot like him, and i stopped dead in my tracks, my heart pounding wildly. i had to focus and figure out if it was him or not--it wasn't. so i shook it off and kept walking.

abbie said it wasn't crazy, it was normal, perfectly understandable. i just wish she could make it go away.

- monday, Nov. 17, 2008


lovesounds - futuresex


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