backyard crowing
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a nod from the universe?
cause i dont wanna get over you just yet
cause i dont wanna
dont wanna
dont wanna
forget
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shes just a bartender of your love/
and shes drinkin' the wine from your jug/
im just a heartmender for your love/
but im sinkin in time
i think i had another dream about marcus last night. we were both at a party or function of some sort, and there was food. i saw him, gave him a smileless nod, and i walked off and outside with my food to sit alone. then he came after me, and i can't remember what happened next.
interesting, because in a scary dream, i always wake up just before the monster gets me. so then marcus is clearly a monster in my eyes...or maybe i was just protecting myself from seeing the possibly sad ending to the scene.
the other night at the poetry slam i was in a stall and i wrote, "i do not love marcus a. m. anymore. -jane"
and there i trailed off, because one of the poets was looking at me; my stall had swung open. fortunately she didn't tell the bar owners, she just laughed and i left.
then i left the bar, and next time i am determined to get into that stall and finish what was started. finish my name, janeane.
but then again, maybe i shouldn't. i think this is the universe's way of telling me i'm still not over him, and i need to accept that.
but if i'm not over him now, when will i be?
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today's message of the day is:
life's short. masturbate.
- tuesday, dec. 16, 2008
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