backyard crowing


a purpose for mixed signals? : /

i'm beginning to think that there is a place for "mixed signals" at the start of a relationship. it's a game, and while games suck, some of them are necessary.

but anyway, as to the "mixed signals" part:

people are blamed for bad dates or confusing our dates or all sorts of crap for giving mixed signals, but i think they're there for a reason. we're not sure what we believe, so we unintentionally give out these signals, and our dates can read them.

they serve a purpose, they're preventing us from getting involved with people who are bad for us. the signals can hinder a relationship from forming because of lack of trust, but maybe you shouldn't trust to much in the beginning. in time the trust builds, the games go away, and the signals aren't mixed...and we become brave. open to saying or showing how we feel, because we're more sure of how we feel.

and if we aren't sure how we feel, but neverthless we act on one set of feelings (to like someone or not), then we might later discover, "oh, I really liked that person, I should have showed it more," or, "oh, I really didn't like that person, I shouldn't have showed it because now they're attached to me."

so it's not only protecting ourselves, it's protecting the other person.

all that being said, it's still awful to have to wait around for someone to realize that yes, they're really into you. it's like the job interview that keeps on resurfacing after you see the person.

then again, some would say that if he's into you, he's showing it right away. that's how i work, anyway--i'm fairly transparent. i find it fairly easy to show how i feel, unless i think the other person doesn't like me and would react badly if i showed interest.


Maybe the only way I can change even a little part of the world is by dying.

- saturday, jan. 31, 2009


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