backyard crowing


we haven't elected an introverted prez in 30 yrs!

In all my experiences, I've come to the conclusion that people can change, but one thing that they cannot change is whether they're introverts or extroverts. We can try to be a little more outgoing, we can try to speak up, but ultimately our brains won't let us fully go from one to the other. If an introvert talks a lot, it's a great effort, for they're not being themselves. If an extrovert makes a point not to talk much, they feel shut down, like they can't get out what they need...they can hardly think, because they think aloud, that's part of how they operate.

Since God makes it so fucking hard to change from an introvert to an extrovert--makes it IMPOSSIBLE, in my opinion--then there must be something vitally important to the 3:4 ratio. There must be divine intervention there, the introverts are here for a reason, and the extroverts are here for a reason.

I know, I know "it takes all kinds to make a world," but now I know that "all kinds are an existence requirement of the world."

And I will reiterate, introversion is not the same as shyness. Introversion is a wallflower at a party because she wants to be there, shyness is sitting at home, sad because she wants to be there but is too scared to go. Shyness can be changed, introversion cannot, that is, until we figure out how to change our brain chemistry.

I'm thinking about a play now...maybe I could write a play in a world where everyone is an extrovert, or everyone is an introvert.

I've also been thinking that part of the logic behind our career choice is based on our level of introversion/extroversion. I read descriptions of the typical writer and I feel accepted, like it's okay to be me, because look at these geniuses.

I just read that we haven't elected an introverted an introverted president in three decades, since Jimmy Carter.

I just thought of another great reason to marry and extrovert (since I'm an introvert): the kid(s) will either be one or the other, and if their parents are one of each, then they can see that's it's okay to be either, no matter what society says.

I think we need to think about introverts as one race and extroverts as another--only both groups come in all colors. There could be a movement, there could be Introversion History Month, wherein we honor the great introverts throughout history. We are a minority. We could protest, we could gather. And though these actions are contradictory to our nature, because gatherings are what wears us out, we can still fight.

I think sometimes when we get something we want--that's when we find out how much we really wanted it. Your wants flow through your veins constantly, and getting a little want is like a small orgasm, and a big want is a big orgasm. Sometimes we don't realize how much we wanted it until we come.

- friday, feb. 27, 2009


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