backyard crowing
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george zimmer's sex life is FASCINATING!
I saw this on wikipedia a while back about George Zimmer, the guy from Men's Wearhouse.
(Well okay, my ex did.)
Here it is:
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND C.E.O. OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE. BETWEEN BOUTS OF BAWDY BALL-BUSTING BUTT-BURGLING, I CAN OFTEN BE FOUND AT MY LOCAL LIBRARY PERUSING A BANK OF THESAURI TO ASSIST IN THE ALLITERATIVE ANNALS OF MY AWESOME ANAL ASSAULTS. HOWEVER, MY LATEST TRIP WAS NOT THE DRY ACADEMIC EXERCISE ONE MIGHT EXPECT. AS I SEARCHED THE SILENT STACKS, I SPIED A STUNNINGLY SCRUMPTIOUS SIREN SITTING STUDIOUSLY AT THE REFERENCE DESK. ALL THOUGHT OF BORING, BANAL BOOK-BROWSING LEFT MY MIND AS OUR EYES MET AND THE BEAUTIFUL BOOKISH BABE'S BODACIOUS BOSOM BOBBED BOUNCILY WITH HER SUDDEN INDRAWN BREATH. MY TRUCULENT TROUSER TORPEDO TORE A TUMULTUOUS TRAIL OF TERROR TO HER TWITCHING, TITILATINGLY TENDER TWAT, UPENDING BOOKSHELVES AND SENDING HORRIFIED PATRONS FLEEING FOR THEIR LIVES. AS MY UNCTUOUS UNDULATING UNDERWEAR USURPER LURCHED LASCIVIOUSLY THROUGH HER LUSCIOUSLY LUSTY LIBRARIAN LABIA, LUBRICATING HER LOVEBOX WITH A FURIOUS FOAMING FLOOD OF FROTHY FUCK-FLUID AT THE CRITICAL CREST OF OUR CRIMINALLY COCKTASTIC COPULATORY CRESCENDO, HER CRIES OF UNIMAGINABLE PLEASURE WERE MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY LIBRARIAN'S "SHUSH." I GUARANTEE IT.
What the fuck
- saturday, feb. 28, 2009
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