backyard crowing


i paid $60 for a glass of lemonade. & i've become a twit.

ohhhhh, yes. yours truly has discovered the beauty and magic of twitter. my name? I’ll link to it later. my game? spilling my loneliness to my 2 followers: ash, a gal from playwriting, and none other than JIMMY EAT WORLD. heaven help us.

my most current tweet is: “is coining the term ‘Google and you shall find.’”

i thought it was clever, anyway, and i'm going to try to use it in everyday conversation. juno-style.

it is 4:08 am and i am only a little tired. or am i? am i exhausted? idk. all i know is that my schedule is royally fucked up, thanks to spring break...but i haven't partied at all, just stayed in and rotted. oh, well. it's good to rot sometimes, as long as it doesn't go on and on and it is now.

went to central market for the first time a few weeks ago.

my car was a parking garage that's located right next to the dorm i lived in for three years, yes, that big whopper of a building. sadly it is possible that i LEFT IT THERE and it was not infact stolen, but that possibility is pretty slim, considering i was desperate to find the car the day i went to drive it and it was nowhere to be seen. i was on my way to an interview when POOF no car. no shit. it sucked. then again, i wasn't really looking forward to the interview, either. interviews suck balls. it will be a beautiful thing when i graduate journalism and can put this whole nightmare behind me.

apparently it ran up 20 tickets sitting there. i don't think my dad did anything about them, so once he LETS ME HAVE IT BACK (apparently the incomplete course comes first,) i'll probably have to deal with my university's police force.

oh, i went on 2 dates in the past week. one on wednesday, one on thursday. charming little boys. or at least the second one was. surprisingly boy #2 (stephen) was on his first date ever with me...he was...different. he was 20 and studying rtf at acc, which i didn't think was even possible. the guy invited me back to his place afterwards TWICE, didn't even order food (it was a pizza place and he gave me a lemonade, he didn't let me just order water,) and he couldn't give me a ride to or fro because he doesn't have one, either. so in the end i paid $60 to go have lemonade for an hour with a kid--taxis both ways. and of course this coffee shop was a few steps away from his last class of the day, and it closed at 9 pm. and of course i arrived 20 minutes late for the 9 pm. so all we had was jimmy john's. or rather, jimmy john's lemonade.

(i know i'm sounding harsh right now, but it's just for comic effect.)

near the end of an HOUR, he invites me to go to houston with him for spring break. so he wants to leave with me--vacation with me and his PARENTS--the day after meeting me. i swear, the boy is desperate. and broke, if we're talking about the lack of pizza. maybe he was just clueless. most men are, whether it's their 1st date or 1034829th.

i guess i should have guessed this would go badly, based on the rapid speed at which he asked me out. he says he has asked girls out plenty of times, i was just the first to say yes. i could tell he was a lot more well versed in me than i was in him. he mentioned my 43 things profile, and how i wanted to go skinny dipping. sorry, it's just too early for you to be talking about shit like that to my face, pal. if we were just chatting online, it might be one thing, but in person, you just look like an ass.

he also has this on his profile: "just like every other guy on the planet, i look at porn." unfortunately i did not have a chance to read this before responding to his request. if i had, i would have declined politely and immediately. in fact i probably would have stopped talking to him altogether, to prevent him from having any opportunity to ask me out.

then on the date, he wants to show me this "funny music video" on his iphone about how "the internet is for porn." he looks it up and i say, "actually, it's okay, i'd rather not see it." i have no idea if he even got the hint, but at least he didn't play it. my gosh, he's such a gonor already, poor thing. he'll learn, and like everyone has to: the hard way.

anyway, i haven't responded to any of his texts since then (so it's been five days,) and i don't particularly want to. i feel bad for the guy, he has a learning disability of some sort and his speech is a little hard to follow. he seems very naive (wow, there's someone MORE naive than ME?!) and innocent. he's like your little brother that you have to steer in the right direction. but he's also sort of sweet, cheek pinchworthy. you can tell he's incredibly curious about sex. he's shy, softspoken, a little awkward. on the bright side, you can kind of see right through him, and there's something to be said for being the 'smart one' in the relationship. there's more power to do what you want to. he's a good guy, it seems (unless he's very skillfully putting on a big facade,) i just don't think i could like him in a romantic way. he is attractive though.

i really think it's both porn incidents that set me off. that and he seemed dissappointed when the cab got me to the pizza place late (nothing i could help,) and the mention of the skinny dipping. and the invite to his parent's house within an hour of meeting. and the nasty minute maid. and the sneakily taking a picture of me with his iphone while i called a cab to come pick me up. and the fact that he's really still in high school, both mentally (his friends and happiness are back in houston, which he loves, and he hates austin) and in his actions (the conversation left a bit to be desired.)

he'll find a way through this dating maze. it might be with another learning disabled girl, it might not. but he'll get through it...just not with me.

the other date went much better, and had some laughs and subtle flirtations. i'm still talking to him. his name is ...bobster. no no no, that's a horrible nickname. how about bob? it's short for bobby, the name he goes by, so ok. i have qualms about dating someone with such a boring name...oh well. michael is a pretty boring name, and so is matt, and i've been into several of both of those names. 'bob' just seems so squarish to me. but trust me, if i end up falling for him, it will be my favorite name in the world until we break it off. i'm amazed he isn't all 'why would you want to move to a scummy place like nyc?!'

hopefully he's not thinking, 'ohhh, she'll never make it there anyway!' because that would mean death to mr. bob and i. YOU'VE BEEN BOBMATIZED!!!

oh yeah...and if we (gasp!) get married, i can say this is my second wedding to a bob...because the 'ded' one tied the knot with me years ago!

"With this ring, I thee ded!" Oh dear, I love words... :D

4:08 am - tuesday, Mar. 17, 2009


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