backyard crowing


my queer brothers and sisters

i am eager to join the coalition of straight people who say "i'm gay" when they here someone using an anti-gay slur. of course now that i've heard of this tradition, i haven't heard any slurs, but this is a crazy world, and i will be one of the ones to de-crazify it. i have faith that i'm needed in this fight, and the time will come (perhaps as early as today) when i'll need to defend my queer brothers and sisters.

or maybe i'm one of them, maybe i'm bi. but i'll say i'm a lesbian, because they are more "hardcore," so to speak.

i don't know why i desire to have a label, but i know why i desire to have a lesbian or bisexual label. they're different, unique, suppressed. they are the victims of human rights abuse, they are the underdogs. i gravitate to them. they are just trying to LIVE, as am i. society tells them they have a problem that they need to fix...and so i am with them. or i am one of them. whatever.

i've heard that labels are for people who need them, people who can't wrap their minds around another person's existence unless their sexuality is clearly defined. so if i call myself bisexual, i'm using a label, i'm deciding i need that to make me me, to make me matter.

i can't wait to see the look on the faces of the people using slurs. i wonder if they'll apologize. i need to think of what i'm going to say. "it's okay, but please, in the future don't use those words, they really are discriminatory. don't worry, you're okay, just don't use those words. and thanks, for apologizing." something like that, perhaps, and with a lot of eye contact.

and what if we get into an argument? let's say the person says, "lesbians are so gross, they're so disgusting, i can't believe they like women like that." maybe i should start fighting back, instead of just being offended--start saying things like, "well i think it's hot. i think you're weird for liking men; they're gross, i don't understand the appeal in them."

i could be getting myself into an out and out battle, which makes me nervous and excited at the same time. what if they see through me? no, they won't. they'll be too taken aback at their own political incorrectness to think i might be lying. that is, unless i "break character" and say something absurd, something they would never expect out of a lesbian.

- monday, march 23, 2009


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