backyard crowing


car fix and possible new amigo

So, I took the car in to get some things taken care of today, and it took several hours, but I had my laptop. The past few days I've been truly lonely for friends.

I've been researching online for good ways to forge friendships, etc., and I even replied to 2 want ads on Craigslist (woman for woman, strictly platonic.)

I'm a person with little care for "traditional" friend meeting methods.

So anyway, no response from the two Craigslisters. There are two others I wasn't sure if I wanted to reply to or not.

While I waited for the car to get fixed, I met a guy named Nick who was doing the same, and we started to chat. A potential chum, for sure. So we swapped numbers, and we might go for some food on MLK day.

I'm really glad I've found at least someone to hang with on a particular day, even if it turns into a one evening chat. He seems like a standup kind of a person, and very positive. He said to check with R, just to make sure it's okay.

So I will, and hopefully it won't be awkward. I wouldn't feel right not saying anything about it, but I don't want to make him jealous, either.

I'm really the far more jealous person in the relationship, but I don't want to put him in a weird place mentally, or make him wonder, or doubt my faithfulness.

The other side of things is that I really want to have my own friends. People who are on my side, who, if R and I were to ever not make it, would stick up for me. R has those people, however lame they may be, but I do not. Melodie, sure, but she's a user. She wouldn't provide real comfort in a time of pain, but instead mostly anxiety that she would again take advantage of me in some way.

I might be too hard on her, but there's a very real element of those thoughts when it comes to her. I don't trust her, and I don't want to hang out with her, because she takes advantage. That's simple enough, and understandable.

Anyway, today I felt like I really listened to this guy Nick. It's been awhile since I sat and took someone's words in, and words that were not about logistics, or my career, or silly, everyday things.

I require very little social interaction, but today I was really starved of it.

Part of this probably has to do with thinking that I may be alone a lot in the coming semester, what with Ray down south, potentially not visiting me. It's a relief to go to work and talk to co-workers.

I'm sure I'll be over this VERY soon indeed, and that before long I'll be completely sick of human interaction. That's the way it goes, with me.

8:16 pm - Friday, Jan. 16, 2015


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