backyard crowing
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over soon
When I tell my mother "it'll all be over soon," I'm talking about the semester. But I'd like her to think it's my life that may end in short order. Not to worry her, but to make her ask me how I really feel. Lately I don't have anyone to tell my stresses or sadnesses to. I am very alone, and isolated.
The therapist's schedule and mine don't agree, so I only got four sessions. I don't think she liked me anyway, but she was helpful, and better than no therapist. She was a TA, too, interestingly. Maybe my rage for my own TA scared her off.
Last Saturday I went to my favorite bar, same as the Saturday before that. This weekend, it was 80s night, and the last was 90s. I go alone, not to meet men/women, but to have fun, dance, meet people. And I secretly hope someone will hit on me. It happens, but not as much as it used to, and not everytime I go to this bar.
The culture of that bar has changed. Fewer people come there alone to just be themselves. But that's okay. I still feel like it's my living room, like I can waltz in, all-knowing. I'm just not necessarily one of the "beautiful ones." But I'll dance. Oh, I'll dance. Skinny bitches can't stop me.
8:50 pm - Monday, May. 04, 2015
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