backyard crowing



I think I know we are both fundamentally different. And that's what I don't want brought to light.

When our neighbors are out having fun, I don't want us to go hang with them. I don't want to get jealous, I don't want to look bad physically, I don't want to look too good--uppity in front of others. I don't want it to be apparent that he and I are so mismatched - I don't want a shred of doubt in anyone's mind that we are a strong couple. We are vincible, sure, but not nearly as much as others might infer.

When he wants to see his friends and family, I fear they'll judge me for the worse, and think I'm not 'the one.' I fear they won't like me, I won't like them, etc. etc.

I've had too many bad experiences with awful human beings to believe they're worth spending much time with. I knew that from the time I was six.

12:33 am - Wednesday, Sept. 09, 2015


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