backyard crowing


on failure, blind dates

I went through FB messages that I've sent to myself in the past few years.

HONY, or Humans of New York, is a FB group I follow. At this point, it's quite famous, and it's basically a photographer who shoots and interviews people on the street about their lives.

Often the interviews are personal, funny, tragic, and every emotion in between.

Here's one from March 13, 2014:

Photographer: "If you could give one piece of advice to a large group of people, what would it be?"

Man on Street: "I'd tell them the same thing I'd tell one person. That if you understand failure, you won't be afraid of it anymore. Failure isn't diving on your face, or hitting rock bottom. That's just being human. You only fail when you decide to not try again. So it's entirely in your control. Once you understand failure, it's impossible to fail."

Lately I've taken to self-sabotage in my procrastination.

I wonder why we are so scared of success? Taking steps toward Becoming An Editor can be so scary. If I try and I fail, so the fuck what? I'll just keep going. And yet it's still scary.

From Le Google:

"...most scientists and psychologists agree that fear of success exists for both men and women. Fear of success is similar to fear of failure. They have many of the same symptoms, and both fears hold you back from achieving your dreams and goals."


Gabriella and Louey - the two friends I set up - didn't work out. I wrote an entry about Louey's get together last weekend, but it's long and progressing.

Apparently they went on two dates, agreed to go on a third, but then Gabriella said she was still working on herself, from her past relationship. Whether or not that's true doesn't matter. But Louey still wants to hang out with me, so that's the main positive takeaway. Gabriella does too, but we have less in common.

Funny, it seems my closer friends lately are male. It's not on purpose, just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

3:38 am - Saturday, Feb. 06, 2016


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