backyard crowing


anxiety around learning - go fuck yourself, I know english!

Do you ever find yourself listening to a boss, professor, teacher, or even friend, and feeling terrified you won't understand the concept?

Then in turn, you LOOK terrified, and they start explaining the material to you as if you were a four year old?

I think this happens with me and a lot of different people. And I've noticed it with R. I've actually gotten angry at him for talking down to me. When it gets to that point, I have no desire to even hear him out. If someone talked to you like a child, would YOU want to pay them attention? I wasn't born yesterday, and I don't expect to be treated as such.

I could simply address the situation: "Look, I have anxiety about not understanding the topic, it has nothing to do with your lecture/diatribe."

Or just get really angry, or somehow quell the anxiety.

Also -- some teachers will tell you "this assignment will be difficult," or, "this assignment will be easy." I'm not sure which is better. Because they could always lie.

If they say it'll be difficult, then I know to mentally prepare myself and focus - maybe with additional anxiety. If they say it'll be easy, sometimes I just don't believe them. And of course, if I find a thing challenging during an "easy" assignment, then I feel dumb as a rock.

Mostly I'm annoyed at people thinking they need to break down a lesson so far for a grown, intelligent woman.

3:43 am - Thursday, Feb. 18, 2016


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