backyard crowing ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- self-esteem roots I was thinking of this girl in my 360 class who seems to hate me. ...and then talk to me casually, sometimes? It's very confusing. Anyway, a thought crossed through my head about her: "She looks a little like me. Maybe she's afraid she will end up like me." And then I realized how fucked up that was. #1 - I'm legitimizing her dislike of me, and normalizing her treating me as less-than. #2 - I'm assuming that I am undesirable, and that no one would want to be like me. I wonder where I get this crap. Did my mom have this kind of sickness? Is it the media? Why would I want to sabotage myself like that? Where does that stuff come from? -- and not just for me, but for everyone else this occurs to? 2:53 am - Sunday, May. 01, 2016 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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