backyard crowing


Dangerous Damage

Last weekend I went to a live hockey game with Kari and her sister, and R. I got jealous of her sister. I knew I shouldn't have invited him. It always causes problems. But it sucks that we can't just be a normal couple who goes out and does things together, with friends.

I wish single people would just fucking respect that if you're on a date with someone, you STEP OFF in regards to their damn date. R and I have been dating for four years! Get! Outta here! I'm really not asking for much.

I was single, and guess what? I respected that other couples were trying for something! Because I'm not a total goddamn bitch!

Poly people on group dates with other poly people, this isn't about you. Go have your fun.

Last night I made Isa Chandra's Lemongrass Noodle Bowl. It was delicious. I used tofu instead of mock duck, and didn't have time to go to an Asian market, so subbed some lemongrass tea for actual lemongrass.

I'm going to therapy today, where I hope we will force me to finally write an email to my director, so we can get started on lessons again.

R said yesterday, "you have a mean streak, you should be meaner, I've seen that side of you." So I've been musing on that. Because I don't think my mean side would care so dang much about sending an email, she'd just DO it.

I like the idea of being meaner. I could use some piss and vinegar in my daily dealings, I really could.

I have a crush on a guy I walk dogs for. He's your boy next door, but with lots of tattoos and a drone he's trying to repair. I'm pretty sure he's a drug dealer in addition to his work as an EMT.

He was home when I took his two dogs out for a walk the other day. It was my second time to walk for him. (Not many able-bodied people hire a dog walker when they're already home.)

When I returned, he had his drone out and was talking about how it cost $1000, and he hoped to get his money back, because it didn't work.

He has such earnest eyes. A beautiful mix of tough, yet genuine. Sadly, he's also a gun nut? Not that it matters, because I wouldn't pursue him anyway. It's fun to just dream. I think he's 21.

He has a landline. No cellphone. (Living somewhat off the grid also screams drug dealer.)

He reminds me a lot of my first love, Jim. Also, I'm ovulating, so -- perfect storm! Haha.

I stalked him on FB, and I loved something he posted:

"Damaged people are dangerous because they can survive."

8:44 am - Thursday, Feb. 02, 2017


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