backyard crowing


the head bone's connected to the...neck bone

"Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they're gonna tell you that you can't do it. You want something, go get it. Period."

- Pursuit of Happyness

I've never seen this movie, but I saw the quote.

And it struck me... the old professor didn't do this. He didn't move to L.A. He stayed in hellish Austin.

And it may have been because he was too afraid.

And if that's true, that's why he discouraged his students.

Because he couldn't do it himself.


The reason for this entry is my dad's discouragement of the day: "you're unlikely to find a job this time of year."

What motivates people to discourage others? That was my question, and that's how I happened upon this quote.

I have many reasons why he wants to diss my efforts:

- a desire to make me his live in maid
- a desire to have me home for Christmas
- a desire, really, for me to be dependent on him

All of these things are motivators for him. But he discourages me in other ways, too!

For instance, at my desire to not do dog walking anymore:

"Well, it would mean less exercise..." (in a warning tone, like UH OH, heaven forbid I get a real job!)

Let's break this sentence down a bit.

It could be a comment on my weight, which, fuck you very much and go to hell.

Or, it could be about him wanting me to be dependent.

Or, he could want to discourage me BECAUSE IT'S A SICK DESIRE that some humans have in them.

I'm serious. People are twisted, and they have issues. Some people want to cause drama for the sake of drama, and create anxiety in others merely to have that POWER over them.

It's totally fucked up.

Now that I've read a little more on this subject, I'm feeling a lot better. Some people are cracked in the head bone, and you just need to smile at them and move along.

12:31 am - Thursday, Nov. 16, 2017


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