backyard crowing


bow down, bitches!

(this post is rambly and freethought and bad)

I'm really lonely, and sad, and worried. There's no flowery way to put it.

I'm finally in LA, and just had my first day here.

Last night I think I slept 3 hours.

I'm glad to be here, but I'm so damn depressed -- but it's mostly because of the lack of sleep.

I was supposed to talk to my mom on the phone today, but my phone died for several hours. It wouldn't recharge, it has issues every now and again.

I need to remember that the reason I'm crying is because I'm tired. That's it. That is the long and short of it.

So: I will take a shower, set my alarm, and like a true champ, get up and move my car in the morning so it doesn't get towed. I'm a fucking BOSS.


-take a shower
-set alarm
-get up and move car, and do laundry
-get a metro card for when my car rental ends
-check to see if I can really have the car till 10am Wednesday, as they claimed
-call mom

Here's a funny thing:
-my roommate seems to believe in me
-seems happy to have me
-is a nice person

I am so damn lonely.

Here's another task for tomorrow:

-contact cousin in Van Eyes
-contact mom
-contact R
-maybe even dad
-other people, too - Ike
-just fucking talk to people, you are too lonely not too
-find a therapist

Okay, another thing to note:

-I saw a musician in a van practicing his guitar today
-He lives in a van
-If he can do this, I can do this
-I'm lucky enough not to live in a van
-But he's a badass for doing so --
-And I TOO am a fucking bad ass!

Bad ass bitches!

12:01 am - Tuesday, Dec. 12, 2017


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