backyard crowing
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I miss cuddling so much
I remember when I left R in Texas, I said,
"I love you no matter what."
I was teary when I said it, and looked him directly in the eye.
What I meant, in my own language, was that I would love him, even if he cheated. Even though I didn't want him to cheat at all.
And when I think of this, I don't feel so bad. In a subtle way, I gave him permission to do it. And now I'm doing it.
As it turns out, seven months is my limit. It happened with Joe, and now it's happening with R. I guess seven is the magical number of months it takes for your diarist here to finally throw her hands up and tackle the nearest victim.
I really do like Iago, though. He's incredible...
It could have been sound editor boy, or even my gal pal Franzie. But I'm glad it was Iago, because I admire him so much.
And I want more. I want to go to the beach with him this weekend, to make out with him. Maybe not have sex, since he needs work, but I know he'd want that. It may be all he wants, I don't know.
He showed me a clip of him bungee jumping and screaming, and I cuddled up right next to him during the video. Maybe I took it too far...
the next thing we did was watch an episode of some bad netflix show -- Electric Dreams. But for the whole episode, he sat on the other couch, not right next to me like before.
It sucked, because I love touching him.
The night after we had sex, we slept in of course, and I dreamed that he was showing me his pots and pans. I decided to make soup, and started with potatoes and chicken broth.
He talked about his pans like he talks about some of his electric gadgets.
9:30 pm - Monday, Apr. 30, 2018
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