backyard crowing


Goodbye to the Granddest Dad

My maternal grandfather died Thursday before last, the 21st.

I was pretty stricken at first, but I'm feeling better now. The memorial service will be in three weeks.

I'm going home, to Houston, for the first time since I moved to California. R will be there. It will be solemn, though.

I think I won't really be cured of my crazy until R moves here, or I move there. That's why I'm so lonely, so sad sometimes, and making poor decisions. He brings out the best in me. Without him, I am a lesser version of myself.

He doesn't bring out the hardcore competitive ambitious side, however. Iago can do that. But that side isn't fully's just a part of me.

I was too ambitious for Austin, and although I believe I CAN be ambitious enough for LA, I wonder if it will rob me of a soul.

Iago? I don't think he has a soul. He has a beating heart, and narcissism.

9:21 pm - Friday, Mar. 01, 2019


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