backyard crowing


yelling can be emotional abuse

I've been doing some casual online reading about yelling and how it affects children, and people.

Some interesting tidbits:

"Hollering is usually a last resort, and it's largely ineffective. "Shouting doesn't get the message across to children, young or old, because children are too busy defending themselves from a perceived or real danger and totally miss the point," Sihweil says. Plus, some kids who are yelled at frequently start to tune out whenever there is an emotional outburst."

"It's understandable that a parent might get angry with their child for running into the road, but yelling at him afterwards can do more harm than good," Sihweil says. "If you want to develop strength and vigilance in your offspring you should use a firm, calm and compassionate tone, which will allow for your child's brain to remain open and learn. When there is adrenalin as a result of fear from being shouted at, there is limited thinking capacity," Sihweil says.

"Occasional shouting won't have major long-term effects, especially when parents make a point of apologising and correcting their response to whatever the child may have done to provoke them," Sihweil says.

Children perceive shouting as a threat to their sense of security, safety and confidence. "Children fundamentally feel responsible for a parent's anger towards them," explains Sihweil. Children are innately egocentric so they think: "When I do something good, Mummy smiles. When I do something bad, Mummy screams." Younger children simply can't understand alternative explanations for anger such as bad news at work or a flat tyre on the road.

From this site:


"Research has shown that yelling is just as harmful and ineffective when it is done “out of love”.[4] This means that regardless of the yeller’s intentions, you are being subject to treatment that is never ideal or even appropriate."

So true. As seen with my bad roommate K, and also Iago.

1:48 pm - Wednesday, Apr. 29, 2020


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